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Been a long time!

tiredeyes

Hi there, it's been a while since I posted on here a lot has been going on with my boys. Am at the point where more of my kids are being assessed, lots of struggles with them all and my eldest possibly moving out any time now!

since youngest was dx 4 years ago my eldest 2 have been assessed and dx at 22 -S. and R-20 after over 17 years of fighting. It was a relief but getting them help is even harder. My then 20 year old who just turned 22 this weekend has hone through the mill, with being mugged last year, attacked at college by another pupil a few weeks ago. Lots of stress and anxiety.

Eldest 2 have had their support workers withdrawn nearly 2 years now but no chance of getting any further help. Eldest might be moving in to a enablement unit soon has he is very hard to motivate, stimulate and has major sleep issues, even with meds he is becoming very hard to get to sleep.

My 3rd eldest G - 20 is due to be assessed via SPARK and AWM soon. He isn't in work or college has he struggles to follow instructions and is a nightmare (more hard work than my dx ASD kids most of the time).

My 5th son T -11 has his final ADOS appointment next week, but looks more than like he is ASD too. His anxiety is at a very high since he started senior school and now they have put in a LSP after primary took away his IEP for 2 years and denied he had any SEN even though he had a IEP since nursery. He is struggling massively with everything at moment and as recently been put on anxiety meds. Cahms want him out of mainstream school and at moment I feel he should be too. 

Has a single mom to 7 boys and 6 SEN and one with emotional/mental health difficulties I have a house full of kids struggling, regardless of their age, dx we can't get any help or support and left to battle alone. I only have a few outside people working with a couple of them so the battle is left with me. I am tired and overwhelmed by it all and exhausted. But I have to carry on I have no choice. 

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Parents

  • That sounds exhausting, no wonder you are struggling! I've done the single parenting thing too, but never had the amount of stress you have as I only have the one. You must be very resourceful to do all you are doing and cope so well!

    Which situation is stressing you out most do you think? To read, it sounds like it's T, your 11yo is that right? Is he likely to come out of mainstream soon? Focus on finding ways of helping him with his anxiety in addition to the meds, some asd kids respond well to massage, or art or writing, for example. 

    Make a list of all the issues which are bothering you, and how you are or can deal with this. Try to stay organised, I'm guessing you have a routine for your boys? Organisation can help with potentially chaotic situations. 

    Lastly, this may sound impossible but try to get some you time - even if it's just having a relaxing bath when they're in bed, or taking a walk in the day time when they're occupied. Take some time to refresh yourself without replaying your worries in your head. Things will get easier as they get older and there are less transition periods.xx

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  • That sounds exhausting, no wonder you are struggling! I've done the single parenting thing too, but never had the amount of stress you have as I only have the one. You must be very resourceful to do all you are doing and cope so well!

    Which situation is stressing you out most do you think? To read, it sounds like it's T, your 11yo is that right? Is he likely to come out of mainstream soon? Focus on finding ways of helping him with his anxiety in addition to the meds, some asd kids respond well to massage, or art or writing, for example. 

    Make a list of all the issues which are bothering you, and how you are or can deal with this. Try to stay organised, I'm guessing you have a routine for your boys? Organisation can help with potentially chaotic situations. 

    Lastly, this may sound impossible but try to get some you time - even if it's just having a relaxing bath when they're in bed, or taking a walk in the day time when they're occupied. Take some time to refresh yourself without replaying your worries in your head. Things will get easier as they get older and there are less transition periods.xx

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