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Crises

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Have had a really rough week, and had a big crisis Today I am extremely upset about.

I booked this week on holiday for relaxation I was desperate for after a works trip to France a few weeks back, followed by another couple of weekend of stressful trips in new places.

On tuesday I opened a letter from a pension I have, informing me of a loss in a pension fund I was sure I didn't have. Letter was vague, I really paniced as I already have two other pension problems I am fighting, I had started to get financial ombudsman involved. It just got too much for me, and I put them on hold, and was planning to pick them up again next week after this break.

I got really severly down, fortunately a member of the autism diagnostic team helped me to sort through my papers so I could tie down what happened. It turns out letter was wrong, I also phoned pension company and had to wait for the figures, the figures they gave me shows a massive loss over £20k, but I am fairly confident their figures are incorrect.

Have slowly been able to pick up the pieces, but discovered this Morning a music event which literally has beem a dream to go to was on last night, and what's more I was lucky enough to get a free pair of tickets from a random draw. I am absolutely devastated I missed this. I bought an expensive ticket to one of the gigs in stadium, but I dont really like these gigs, much prefer smaller venue, and the seat I got is a very poor seat.

I can only blame myself, for not checking the date, I thought it was later this month. I feel so gutted I have decided not to go the stadium gig I have paid for.

Similar thing happened last week off, tickets had sold out for a gig, spent hours for months finding a spare ticket. Had a crisis just before the event, and found an email just minutes too late to catch the last train for the gig, a ticket someone had kindly offered. I vowed after that to keep on the ball when I have these crises to avoid anything like that happening again.

I just feel life wants to keep kicking me at every opportunity possible, I spend a massive amount of time to try and arrange things so I can avoid life getting an opportunity to strike again. Just don't know how to deal with this, I try and talk to my Father, but he just does not get how bad this affects me, and always brushes off what the problem is; its a different reaction when he has a problem with something.

Really have had enough of letting life just keep kicking me down the road time and time again

 

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    One thing that I have learned since diagnosis is that I am not very good at identifying autism in other people. One of our problems is our very limited ability to understand other peoples feelings and motives. I think I am learning slowly how to be better at this but it isn't coming naturally.

    People can be socially confident with autism. If they don't pick up on disapproval from other people they can blindly carry on and trample over people. He may not really understand or care as autism makes us emotionally blind. This is speculation though but I don't read anything from your post that would rule it out.

    Your father may have fought your mother about how to raise a family and other things. She may have been an NT mother and he may not have understood what whe was on about. A new partner won't have to fight those battles so it may be a very different relationship. Again, this is just my speculation - just treat it as food for thought.

    It seems that he recognises similar things in you as your grandfather - a lifeless face could be an expressionless face - this is another common feature of people with autism. We can be very bad at understanding others' facial expressions but we can also be bad at making our faces express our feelings. I remember a teacher at school (nearly 50 years ago but I still remember it as I didn't understand what the problem was!) saying that I always looked "serious" i.e. I didn't look happy or sad or afraid, I just looked stonily serious.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    One thing that I have learned since diagnosis is that I am not very good at identifying autism in other people. One of our problems is our very limited ability to understand other peoples feelings and motives. I think I am learning slowly how to be better at this but it isn't coming naturally.

    People can be socially confident with autism. If they don't pick up on disapproval from other people they can blindly carry on and trample over people. He may not really understand or care as autism makes us emotionally blind. This is speculation though but I don't read anything from your post that would rule it out.

    Your father may have fought your mother about how to raise a family and other things. She may have been an NT mother and he may not have understood what whe was on about. A new partner won't have to fight those battles so it may be a very different relationship. Again, this is just my speculation - just treat it as food for thought.

    It seems that he recognises similar things in you as your grandfather - a lifeless face could be an expressionless face - this is another common feature of people with autism. We can be very bad at understanding others' facial expressions but we can also be bad at making our faces express our feelings. I remember a teacher at school (nearly 50 years ago but I still remember it as I didn't understand what the problem was!) saying that I always looked "serious" i.e. I didn't look happy or sad or afraid, I just looked stonily serious.

Children
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