Advise required please

Hello all,

I am recently involved in mediation with my ex partner over access to our daughter who is nearly 12. 

She has been diagnosed with ADHD and borderline Autistic from around 4 years ago. I am unable to have this confirmed due to not having access to my daughters medical records. 

prior to the diagnoses I relocated around 300 miles away from her but still remained the regular contact as planned. 

I am unable to bring by daughter to where we live due to her mum not allowing it on the grounds of her austism. Which as said is still unconfirmed. I am in the process of obtaining records to determine if this is correct.

I am after advise from anyone who may be in a similar position, or anyone who can help with regards to having my daughter for holidays over the year. I also have a 4 year son which I want my daughter to get to know. 

My ex partner has said that my daughters autism isn't high up the spectrum (apologies if this is the incorrect term) and it's more the ADHD, she added that my daughter no longer has an asseser as it's now confirmed she has Autism. Just wondered if this was correct?

it has been 4 years we have been trying and unfortunately still in the same position. I have a secure family being married and a son and routine is key in our house, which I know is a major thing with regards to ADHD and Autism.

Any help or advise would be gratley appriecated. Apologies if I have wasted anyone's time.