• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 28 subscribers
  • Views 1207 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Why has my manager just starting copying some of my hobbies as well?

Light

I am currently still really into a anime called Attack on Titan , and now a year later after i answered my managers questions when he asked what I like doing etc, then now recently he said he started watching the series and planning to watch the whole season 1 of it? Why is he copying my hobbies and special interests? I find it annoying to be honest because I hate people what do that, I like to be different and not to share too close bonds with other people because what I like I feel like it helps build a barrier or is it just me? I won't like when he talks about Attack on Titan to me because I'm not interested in what he knows. He's like in his 40's and I feel like that's weird how he copies interests of people like me and I'm in my 20's. What does this mean and why is he doing this? I remember he copied my hairstyle about last year and now I changed my hairstyle, now he's starting to copy my hobbies and I don't like it one bit. He's a very nice person overall though but just when he does these copying things I really don't like it because I want to be me and don't like people copying to try to be me. Hopefully he won't change his hairstyle again to look like my new hairstyle now and also I have the Attack on Titan clothing and everything, hopefully he won't do that either because it would just be really weird if he copied me and bought an Attack on Titan hoodie and wore it when he's like 40'ish, he thinks he's so young but in my opinion, over 40'ish is way too old to like a 20'ish year old's hobbies and everything and especially weird to wear a Attack on Titan hoodie at 40!

I just can't help it but feel very annoyed and p*ssed off on this but that's who I am and how my personality is. I feel like he's invading something of mineb by doing that. How do I stop him from copying me anymore?

  • I don't know really, it's quite difficult for me to tell what he's thinking, he doesn't look like a person who would be insecure but he might be trying to make friends with me, although I known him for a few years now and I didn't introduce anything that interests us both really, I think I only answer him when he asks what I like doing and hobbies etc but I wish I never said anything about Attack on Titan to him now though, I don't really want to hear him talk about it tomorrow when I'm back to work it just feels like he's invading my unique world and space that I am in. Although I do try and convince myself the positive sides of this such as noone can be you and noone is like you apart from yourself even if someone tries to be you,

    If he's just feeling old and wanting to keep up with younger people like me.... I think he never will catch up because this generation of younger people likes loads of stuff and most of the stuff I talk to him about when I answer his questions about my hobbies he has no idea what it is. I think he should just let go and give up trying to catch up, compete with my hobbies and just accept he's getting old.

    The thing I'm most worried about now is that I don't know if he would take the copying even further like copying my style I wear with my Attack on Titan hoodie and also end up growing his hair long like mine to look like Eren the main chracter in Attack on Titan. If he does do all this, I actually have no choice but to consider about leaving the place and the job that I do and just find somewhere else that is simular and continue to do my job role there like I do now instead.

    He is a very nice manager probably the luckiest manager to have because not all managers are that gentle and I feel very lucky to have the job that I have now and appreciate that it would be very difficult to find another job like it but it's very hard because I don't know whether I could just put up with it and all that copying my hobbies and interests that I like if I just stay in the job forever or just find somewhere else so he can't do anymore of that copying me because it does hurt my feelings and mental side of emotions with that copying.  Perhaps its just me, I don't know really! The copying side of him is the only thing that is bothering me ever since I started the job. :/

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Is your line manager desparately (and ineptly?) trying to make friends with you? Or, have you just introduced him to something that interests you both?

    Perhaps he is felling old, insecure and lonely and is trying to make himself look young and trendy?

  • I wouldn't know the answer to that and afraid to say. In a way, if he comes in dressed as you say, then it is a work related issue in that he copying your dress style and you are uncomfortable with it. 

    Whether or not to chat to someone who is comfortable at bringing it up with him? I don't really know. It nothing personal on your part from what you say. You just don't like him copying because you like to be unique. Plus it gets unnerving for 'us' for you anyway if someone is sort of bothering you.

    I wish I had more clarity in knowing what to say. You could outright ask him youself why is he doing this and explain that it makes you feel uncomfortable without saying about age etc. Hopefully someone else will read this and join in and help. I don't want you to loose your job for being brave enough and approaching him yourself or through another. But you need to be comfortable there too. 

  • Oh right, thank you for replying :)

    Yeah.. about what you said about learning to not say anything I think that's one of the good ideas and I won't share anymore information about Attack on Titan with my manager anymore and hobbies, that may help to not give him anymore ideas to copy me because I really don't like it.

    The problem is about telling my line manager is he is actually my line manager that;s copying me and I could tell someone else but the other problem is I get too worried about the consequences that may cause because I do like my job there and don't know if my problem with him copying me is a work related issue?

  • I can vagually relate to your frustruations here because back at Christmas I had a much older friend to me and innocently text about a poem I been writing. She text back saying she writing one on same theme. I use poetry to process some thinking at times. When completely stuck I ask a trusted friend to set me a theme for the poem. I very nearly told this person the theme but realised not to because I didn't want her copying. I say I be somewhere and find her there when I was. She had as much right to be there as me in her own right but it unnerved me if I had said I was being there that time and she turn up.  I learned to say nothing to her and now keeping my distance as I find it hard and overwhelming.

    May be he is just attempting to catch up on it all, to be able to chat to you what  you like doing outside. Misguided but it may be that simple. May be he is just a little bit lost in hobbies and you make yours sound interesting so has adapted to it.  He is your manager though so I don't recommend on literally keeping your distance as I am doing for the one person. I can't explain why he is copying you. It happens to all ages though it not just the younger end copying someone they like a little bit older. It happens across the whole age range.   Do you have a line manager who may be able to explain in a tactful way why it bothers you? 

    Sorry I couldn't be of more help