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refusal to go to school

RosieF

My boy, 14 with asperger has just gone back to school into year 10, a mainstream school with ASC provision. 

From Easter (year 9) we were starting to get refusals to going to certain lessons, we thought this was because these were not his choosen options for year 10 and he no long saw the point of them - okay that seemed fair enough.  Then he stopped going to learning support - refusal to go into the room and preferred to stand in corridors.  A TAF was opened lots of meetings without any real progress.

He started back at school on Wednesday last week, I struggled a lot to get him to school - always trying to keep his a calm as possible - but he refuses to go to any lessons. I had to collect him yesterday, Monday, when he had left the building as was standing on a shipping container (I don't know how he managed to get up there), and there he stayed until I collected him. 

Today he refused to leave his bedroom and baracaded himself in with his bed. I managed to gain entry - on the promised to only talk - and after some digging we got to the point that he wanted (well more intened) to go to his lessons but he just couldn't go there.

I can only think that it's some sort of anxiety?  Learning support at school have suggested that CAMHS could help and a subsequent referal has been made by our Doctor.

Has anyone go though anything like this? - do you have any suggestions?

Any help welcome.

Parents

  • Bullying doesn't necessarily preclude having friends of a sort. But bullying, if you're different can be much subtler.

    At 14 most schoolkids are forming 'associations' around their teenage attitudes, cults and perspectives. Someone on the spectrum, not able to compete in social exchanges, and not able to glean enough understanding from them, cannot expect to merge into these new associations. He will feel left out even if not actually made to feel excluded, although the latter often happens.

    People really start to notice the different kid around 13 or 14. There is pressure from new 'friends' not to hang out with the weird kid, so friends he once thought he had he now hasn't got, not in the way he had them before.

    But more particularly, around this age, there will be kids, irrespective of disability awareness, who will take pleasure in pointing out his difference, and taking advantage, and showing him up in front of others.

    So bullying, in the sense you might have seen in your own schooldays, doesn't adequately describe what happens. Name calling (words REALLY can hurt), internet and phone messaging can often occur, being laughed at in the classroom, being much more alone than ever before. It can make the teaching environment exceedingly distressing whereby to a non-autistic person all that might seem to be happening is a bit of banter.

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  • Bullying doesn't necessarily preclude having friends of a sort. But bullying, if you're different can be much subtler.

    At 14 most schoolkids are forming 'associations' around their teenage attitudes, cults and perspectives. Someone on the spectrum, not able to compete in social exchanges, and not able to glean enough understanding from them, cannot expect to merge into these new associations. He will feel left out even if not actually made to feel excluded, although the latter often happens.

    People really start to notice the different kid around 13 or 14. There is pressure from new 'friends' not to hang out with the weird kid, so friends he once thought he had he now hasn't got, not in the way he had them before.

    But more particularly, around this age, there will be kids, irrespective of disability awareness, who will take pleasure in pointing out his difference, and taking advantage, and showing him up in front of others.

    So bullying, in the sense you might have seen in your own schooldays, doesn't adequately describe what happens. Name calling (words REALLY can hurt), internet and phone messaging can often occur, being laughed at in the classroom, being much more alone than ever before. It can make the teaching environment exceedingly distressing whereby to a non-autistic person all that might seem to be happening is a bit of banter.

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