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refusal to go to school

RosieF

My boy, 14 with asperger has just gone back to school into year 10, a mainstream school with ASC provision. 

From Easter (year 9) we were starting to get refusals to going to certain lessons, we thought this was because these were not his choosen options for year 10 and he no long saw the point of them - okay that seemed fair enough.  Then he stopped going to learning support - refusal to go into the room and preferred to stand in corridors.  A TAF was opened lots of meetings without any real progress.

He started back at school on Wednesday last week, I struggled a lot to get him to school - always trying to keep his a calm as possible - but he refuses to go to any lessons. I had to collect him yesterday, Monday, when he had left the building as was standing on a shipping container (I don't know how he managed to get up there), and there he stayed until I collected him. 

Today he refused to leave his bedroom and baracaded himself in with his bed. I managed to gain entry - on the promised to only talk - and after some digging we got to the point that he wanted (well more intened) to go to his lessons but he just couldn't go there.

I can only think that it's some sort of anxiety?  Learning support at school have suggested that CAMHS could help and a subsequent referal has been made by our Doctor.

Has anyone go though anything like this? - do you have any suggestions?

Any help welcome.

Parents

  • Unfortunately he doesn't see the need to talk; for example: if he hasn't got a time table, he expects the staff to know without any words!

    The school have suggested home tutoring but he will not let school into our home.  We've been given some school work to do whilst he's off - that will be a battle -  I explained that to the learning support and they suggest that he meet a learning support assistant in the local library for an hour or so at a time and gain a relationship with that person - who they will try to arrange to be a man (he just relates better to men), and hopefully bring him back into school in small sessions.  There is also a possibility, hopefully, that he will be able to stay with a 1 to 1 until he's ready to go back to the classroom.

    Unfortunately, his favourite teacher (probably his favourite person in the school) who he's had for the last three years is no longer teaching him - that will most certainly have unsettled him.

    I don't think he being bullied - he usually is quite possitive about break and lunch time - he stands in 'his' place on the school yard and his friends approach him, he seems to like this.  He does have problems with eating in front of anyone who it's family and refuses to eat any lunch at school.  I'm hoping that this may be addressed with him having access to a room alone for 10 mins.

    I've started going to counselling recently I doesn't come very naturally to me but I will stick it out. I am over-emotional and cry too easily!!

Reply

  • Unfortunately he doesn't see the need to talk; for example: if he hasn't got a time table, he expects the staff to know without any words!

    The school have suggested home tutoring but he will not let school into our home.  We've been given some school work to do whilst he's off - that will be a battle -  I explained that to the learning support and they suggest that he meet a learning support assistant in the local library for an hour or so at a time and gain a relationship with that person - who they will try to arrange to be a man (he just relates better to men), and hopefully bring him back into school in small sessions.  There is also a possibility, hopefully, that he will be able to stay with a 1 to 1 until he's ready to go back to the classroom.

    Unfortunately, his favourite teacher (probably his favourite person in the school) who he's had for the last three years is no longer teaching him - that will most certainly have unsettled him.

    I don't think he being bullied - he usually is quite possitive about break and lunch time - he stands in 'his' place on the school yard and his friends approach him, he seems to like this.  He does have problems with eating in front of anyone who it's family and refuses to eat any lunch at school.  I'm hoping that this may be addressed with him having access to a room alone for 10 mins.

    I've started going to counselling recently I doesn't come very naturally to me but I will stick it out. I am over-emotional and cry too easily!!

Children
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