Fitting in

I know what you mean, I have issues with this. Spent most of my youth wanting to be one of the gang, which led me into hanging out with a**holes and making some very stupid decisions. Looking back, that desire to fit in has probably caused me more problems than anything else. 

I do think that fitting in is partly down to attitude though. If I focus on the differences with others rather than commonalities I will continue to feel separate. And that the only solution really is to reach out to others (which I find very difficult. For instance there is a local AS social group which I am thinking about attending, but keep procrastinating!)

One of my heroes, Tim Leary, said this about fitting in:

“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…”

I know what you mean, I have issues with this. Spent most of my youth wanting to be one of the gang, which led me into hanging out with a**holes and making some very stupid decisions. Looking back, that desire to fit in has probably caused me more problems than anything else. 

I do think that fitting in is partly down to attitude though. If I focus on the differences with others rather than commonalities I will continue to feel separate. And that the only solution really is to reach out to others (which I find very difficult. For instance there is a local AS social group which I am thinking about attending, but keep procrastinating!)

One of my heroes, Tim Leary, said this about fitting in:

“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…”