Support groups

I have seen your post and I am looking for involvement with autistic children. I have been working with autistic children and montessori setting. Why not gather some parents with your children and we can have some sessions, for a start. If things go fine we could carry on.

Hi all and  Avi Moderator anything up near Middlesbrough way? I'm not going to gay or goth clubs, no offence inttended.

Hi Moonlight,

At the current time the community does not have the functionality for Private Messaging but we are looking at this for the future. If you have further questions about this let us know.

Take care,

Avi
Moderator 

@pageant-thank you, remains to be seen

@Paulina-how do i see the PM?(am still rather new here and struggle to find my way around. Sorry for the delay of this message, lost internet for 2 days)

I dream of the ideal support group for me and my 12 year old daughter. Nearest group of any description is an hour away and my daughter has autism and selective mutism. She was only one of three girls that went along and never talked to anyone because of the mutism. it was too brief and too noisy for her to make progress and most parents had 'boy' issues - and lived locally, unlike me.

I did post on the Selective Mutism website to drum up interest in a coffee meet up with anyone local in north Essex and got no response... You can but try...  So my ideal support group would be down the road, with a good smattering of girls and everyone into Minecraft (my daughter's current obsession). And with parents to chat to about tips, difficulties, solutions and with wise, funny and inspiring words aplenty.  My daughter would make wonderful friendships and conquer her selective mutism.  The world would be put to rights.  But that only seems to exist in my dreams along with the magic wand that waves away all her difficulties.   Very best of luck - hope you have considerably more success than me...

Hi Moonlight. thats an excellent idea. I sent you a PM and would like to join.

@hope, thank you. replied to you in the other thread aswell

@longman- maybe, ill have to look into it, see what i can find, but i must admit i am a bit weary of going somewhere where everybody else is of a same type of caracteristic and ill be the obvious outsider again..I must say ill definetly steer clear of gay bars etc, not relly comfortable with the idea that theres a certain likelyhood of being chatted up by another woman... and stuff..:S

I mentioned 'difference' groups, not in the sense that you identified with them per se, but that they sometimes provided more tolerant settings.

I do know several people who are on the spectrum who are not goths but hang out with goths, because they are more accepting. At one time psychologists recommended shy or socially inhibited people to go to gay pubs or clubs, because they were less restrictive in terms of fitting in socially. Whether that is still true, a lot of non-gay people go to gay clubs because they are less aggressive than mainstream clubs.

Similarly some of the looser defined church communities don't make it an absolute pre-requisite to believe the way they do to go to a social event. You could find them an option without having to admit you don't believe. A social event isn't the same, necessarily, as worship.

My advice, put simply, is there are places that are more autism friendly, you just have to consider avenues you wouldn't otherwise consider.

However I hope you find a support group

Hi Moonlight, I posted on your other thread

They are supposed to exist - the realty may be a bit disappointing.

Where I lived until two years ago there was a NAS social group met once a fortnight. I never got round to it and anyway it was stopped because of lack of staff/funds.

From what I was told by someone who did go regularly it was very difficult to get any actual socialising, and those attending were mostly teens to early twenties, some with parents. There was also a young person's 'disco' night in a local club, which apparently was similarly underfrequented. Is that really what people on the spectrum want in terms of sensory loading?

In the same town I did join a parents group, paying as a professional member - there was no membership for people with autism. Normal membership was for parents. The only people there on the spectrum were dragged along by their parents, who socialised with other parents. I gather this situation is not uncommon. Where I am now there is some social provision within the NAS group, but I have found being involved is hard work - again it is really all about parents, not people on the spectrum.

You may find another way around this by looking for something with a broader membership which is autism friendly. Some churches provide social options which are amenable. Be careful though of evangelist groups that 'collect' people with disabilities, for appearances sake (look how 'good' we are), and may be neither understanding nor supportive.

Some towns have venues for fringe music, or community art, which also provide a cafe and seating. These places are much friendlier and I have noticed in the past that people on the spectrum use them, and therefore can use them to meet up.

I've also found certain activities attract people on the spectrum - independent railway enthusiasts for example - the activities around trains and infrastructure attracts people on the spectrum who benefit from friendships formned within that circle.

'Different' cultures are sometimes more autism friendly - goths, emos, gay etc

I think well intended efforts to create social spaces for people on the spectrum possibly lose impact because people on the spectrum often don't have enough in common and don't necessarily want to meet others like themselves (in spite of the alternative perspective that it might be easier to socialise with like others).

 If it worked maybe the social groups would attract numbers and be more widely available.