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overnight contact --pls advice

aka

Court has abruptly increased contact for my toddler with dad from 8 hrs during day/week to 30 continuous hours/week-end apart from 8 hours during day/week.

LO is struggling quite a lot as such with 8 hours over day/ week away from his home envirnonment, with night terrors, self-harming, and withdrawal.

We are awaiting clinical psychologist opinion  but there is a big waiting list on NHS.

Despite my pleas to wait until the medical assessment is completed, the judge ignored it and went for this steep increase.

Iam shattered. Iam really worried about LO as dad has repeatedly declined my offers to talk about LO's routines as he feels he knows better.

LO doesnt talk, doesnt even comprehend. He has never slept anywhere else until now, not ever with his dad until now.

Is there any help for LO?

  • PS : The self harm is from repeated head-banging against hard surfaces.

  • Thanks recombinantsocks.

    Iam going take on board your suggestion & try social services.

    My LO has got " likely autism" diagnosis from the paediatrician, but as mentioned previosuly he is awaiting confirmation from the social clinic.

    Also the self-harm episode has been witnessed and documented by the educational psychologist at a home visit.

    Iam going to fight my LO's corner , as feel the courts were a bit too hasty in this case.

    Fingers crossed.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    The social services may be able to intervene and take the case back to court if they see evidence that warrants it. A toddler that is self harming sounds quite desparate but not sure what that entails?

    Autism isn't always obvious. I was the first person diagnosed in my family but my father and his father and grandfather were all eccentric and odd in various ways but they were never examined and Aspergers hadn't been discovered then.I also got away with it without diagnosis for 56 years.

    Separation and divorce are extremely common with undiagnosed Aspergers and your difficulty in getting through to him all suggests that this is a possibility.

    Of course, autism isn't genetic in all cases and it could equally have come from your side of the family. This isn't about finding someone to blame but about trying to understand possible causes that might suggest new ways of getting out of your current difficulties.

  • Thanks for your response.

    I havent thought of local SS. Would they be able to step in, as the court has issued this order? Previosuly they used to just bounce away my concerns.But am going to try them again.

    There is no obvious genetic inheritance of autism in either family.

    Iam really backed into a corner, not knowing where to turn to or what to do.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Have you spoken to your local social services children's department to ask for help in working out what to do. It strikes me that this could be a child protection issue.

    Do you think he inherited his autism from his dad (or from you)?. This would explain a few things about your situation.