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The big question this holiday is to play or not

jrandall10

Hello everyone

Our daughter has asd n spd, she is seven and loves getting toys for rewards but really struggles to play. It takes us to threaten no more toys until you play with what you have which leads to upset b4 she chooses to play. When she does decide to play with anything she keeps getting up and you can see she is getting bored. I would happily get rid of some toys and stop buying them but this causes upset plus her not wanting to earn her reward tickets which means terrible behaviour. I definitely think her SPD is more severe and some mum's on spd Twitter groups suggested we try more sensory play rather then normal toys but to have trays for shaving foam and gloom we need to make space cause giving her a little bowl she still gets bored. I'm feeling quite lost but I'm willing to try anything cause it's so hard to see her get stressed over something she should enjoy. She would play on her iPad every night but too much media over stimulates her. Can anyone help?

Thank you in advance xx

  • Serious question, but why does she have to play with them? my son doesnt play with toys either, when he does he just lines them up, i think its best not to make an issue out of it and if she wants to play then let her if she doesnt then leave her too it xx

  • Hiya,

    I liked Star Wars Lego. I made all the models then lined then up into a base I modeled on the Lego hoth base. I didn't play any imaginary stories. I still don't.

    My favourite distractions (aka toys) are still either practical or sensory. For example my smart lights (review here: spacedoutandsmiling.com/.../phillips-hue-smart-lights-gu10-and-hue-lux) and my big sensory lion (review here: spacedoutandsmiling.com/.../safari-lion-sensory-toy-aka-dennis)

    I also like books of facts and find them enjoyable. I love to learn.

    Perhaps she does not need to play to be happy. Being forced to play sounds unhelpful Although I understand it is well intended and well meaning.

    hope that helps 

    Jamie + Lion

  • Hi, I think you should continue giving her toys as a reward.  It's clear from what you say that she enjoys receiving them.  What kinds of toys does she get.  My son collected various toys, sometimes from tv shows he liked or because he had other interests such as buses + trains.  He got a lot of enjoyment from these toys, even if he did not "play" with them in quite the same way as a neuro typical child might.  Do you play with her when she's trying to play with the toys?  I would caution against throwing them out or even threatening to throw them out, despite the fact they are piling up Smile.  There are many sensory toys which can be bought online so maybe a look there might prove useful?