Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all :)
You may have seen a topic i prerviously posted very recently about my boys. Im a mom of 3. I have got my one boy through alot of the process to the point they have said its Autism and ADHD but it hasnt been put on paper as yet as hes yet to see a phsycotherapist and my other son hasnt even got to first screening yet. This in mind, I have so many questions, so please forgive me as no matter what i read it seems so vague. My main question being if this is the case, does my nearly 6 year old son know? is he aware of his autism and ADHD? If not when do they become aware of it? do you tell them or do you not say anything at all ( i wouldnt until it was on paper anyway). Also my one son has alot of hitting, bitting to others and himself, he uses baby talk and grunts, these things sometimes make me wonder is all this behaviour completely his condition OR is some of it just an average nearly 6 year olds behaviour? Im very confused. I know alot of the things he does isnt that of someone his age but say like when hes boundary pushing is that the nearly six year old or is it part of the condition or both? the reason i ask this as im so worried about time out if its something that cant be helped, in fact should i be time outing anyway? Im in a place where im questioning everything he does (not to him like i just think is this his way of saying i cant cope or is it him just being a head strong nearly 6 year old?) , im questioning everything we do like should i time out if his behaviour is unacceptable (but then it might not be his fault and so i dont want him to feel misunderstood). I often wonder if he knows as im scared that he might feel alone or isolated and i really dont want that. I mean he seems happy enough until hes in one of his outbursts but i am a worrier and the thought of them feeling misunderstood for even a second turns my stomach. If theres anyone out there with autism / ADHD or both a point of view and advice from you would be greatly appreciated as i just want to understand and do the best for my boys. My boys havent changed overnight and i would like to think that i know them every inch of the way however if theres anything i can do to understand the way they see the world then that can only benefit them surely? thank you for reading my post, and thank you in advance to anyone that can contribute, it means alot. Best Wishes, Lisa :)
Its kind of scary, my friends and I have all decided that my school only cares about its statistics, not the kids, hence why I had a breakdown prior to my diagnosis when they piled too much on me. And I'm one of the smart kids! Smart kids get more leeway and they still drove 3 others out of school!
But after the diagnosis, I got introduced to the SEN unit who are actually specialised in ASD cases....but it's like stepping into an alternate reality when I head into that section of the building, suddenly everyone cares and is worried about you and how you feel or think. When I tell them about my problems they get so confused about why they've never heard of this. I had to take my friend down there to talk to one of the TA's because she was getting scared for her brother who has major, as in MAJOR, anxiety, and may have anxiety disorder, which the school have completely ignored and are fining their mum and setting creepy old attendence officers on them. They were horrifed. At least they're trying to get help sorted out for the poor kid but no one, not in the three months he's been having issues, from main school bothered to get SEN involved.
On one hand, it makes me realise that if I need help, I have to pick myself up and march in there myself, because it is hard asking for help when you've grown up in a school environment where asking for help is a sign of weakness. On the other hand, I know for a fact that I will never be given help if I start to struggle unless someone from SEN is there to look after me.
Me: Sir, I don't understand this question.
Sir: Ok, heres 5 extra questions for you to do as homework, get yourself sorted out or you'll fail.
Me:.... * never asks for help again *
Is it sad that I've accepted this is how things are or would other people do things differently?
Keep in mind that my friend with the struggling brother is a head student that has contacted the head teacher plenty of times with her own anxiety issues over our years at the school as well as the lack of mental health education only to get shot down and told off for saying such things in front of parent council.