Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all :)
You may have seen a topic i prerviously posted very recently about my boys. Im a mom of 3. I have got my one boy through alot of the process to the point they have said its Autism and ADHD but it hasnt been put on paper as yet as hes yet to see a phsycotherapist and my other son hasnt even got to first screening yet. This in mind, I have so many questions, so please forgive me as no matter what i read it seems so vague. My main question being if this is the case, does my nearly 6 year old son know? is he aware of his autism and ADHD? If not when do they become aware of it? do you tell them or do you not say anything at all ( i wouldnt until it was on paper anyway). Also my one son has alot of hitting, bitting to others and himself, he uses baby talk and grunts, these things sometimes make me wonder is all this behaviour completely his condition OR is some of it just an average nearly 6 year olds behaviour? Im very confused. I know alot of the things he does isnt that of someone his age but say like when hes boundary pushing is that the nearly six year old or is it part of the condition or both? the reason i ask this as im so worried about time out if its something that cant be helped, in fact should i be time outing anyway? Im in a place where im questioning everything he does (not to him like i just think is this his way of saying i cant cope or is it him just being a head strong nearly 6 year old?) , im questioning everything we do like should i time out if his behaviour is unacceptable (but then it might not be his fault and so i dont want him to feel misunderstood). I often wonder if he knows as im scared that he might feel alone or isolated and i really dont want that. I mean he seems happy enough until hes in one of his outbursts but i am a worrier and the thought of them feeling misunderstood for even a second turns my stomach. If theres anyone out there with autism / ADHD or both a point of view and advice from you would be greatly appreciated as i just want to understand and do the best for my boys. My boys havent changed overnight and i would like to think that i know them every inch of the way however if theres anything i can do to understand the way they see the world then that can only benefit them surely? thank you for reading my post, and thank you in advance to anyone that can contribute, it means alot. Best Wishes, Lisa :)
Hi again :D,
I know what you mean about how people want the in-depth answer about how every little brain cell comes out with a certain behaviour xD
For me it was ok as I spent all these years as an odd 'normal' so people just began accepting my 'quirks' without questioning them too much.
I think its because we now have a label that they see as a very serious condition that makes them think theres some psychological reason why we act the way we do, I dunno, like how they try to explain that some criminals are they way they are because they weren't hugged as a child or something.
Whereas with me or Eliott, if we develop a new habit its usually some common sense response to a problem. Like whenever I got insecure about tripping over myself (with no assistance from the stairs or other people) I learned to laugh and congratulate myself on tripping up completely of my own accord. Or in Eliotts case, he now wears long sleeved t-shirts or jumpers so that he feels more secure and not as exposed.
In some ways I envy Callum, I love blue and purple xD Seeing in those colours from time to time would make things like Business Studies way more fun, and I usually stick to those colours for anything art related.
I think its also not so much that we hear the noises same as everything else, but some aspies have hyper-sensitive hearing, which means if we zone in on one sound its hard to drag your attention back to other things, like if someone leaves the tap on in the kitchen downstairs at night, I'm bound to go down there after 10 mins of trying to ignore it to turn the darn thing off just to keep it quiet, only to focus on some other sound 5 mins later. Hence why I usually listen to music nearly all the time ^^ In lessons like art and textiles they let us listen to music with one headphone in so long as we turn it off while they're talking to us, its really helpful in terms of narrowing down your distractions.
Also found out Eliott is a major maths fan as well, apparently he excels in maths beyond all other subjects. Maybe its a boy thing brought out more by the condition? I've heard on documentaries that boys tend to like things like solid right and wrong answers whereas girls prefer things that can have deeper meanings (art, poetry etc).