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Obsession with people

Hope

My obsessions have always been people focused. From memorising the food people ate, being fixated at the sight of girl's hair, dolls, and then an all consuming interest in the actress Kate Winslet and child development.

From my teen years, and even to some extent in my childhood, I have a lived a vicarious existence where I live through other people and have no self-concept of my own. I sometimes fall in love with certain individuals and want to emulate them, to dress like them, and to do the same things as them. I don't usually share these obsessions with others for fear that they will misinterpret my obsession, but I understand boundaries and would never stalk the person - although I will obsessively research them and try and find out about them.

Does anyone else have people based obsessions? The Asperger stereotype emphasises an obsession with gadgets or objects, but my obsessions have always been people based, or about human systems like the body.

Parents

  • I'm always facinated by the intellegence of others. I'm drawn to intellegence and very often fall in love with a persons intellect, but not them. Over the years I've realized that this has given others the wrong impression and made for a good deal of confussion as to how they think I feel about them. They confuse my interest in their intellegence as interest in them. It always comes as a shock to me when they act on that. I've lost many friends because they've taken it as a sign that i'm intersted on a more intimate level.

    I guess it's partly to do with wanting to connect with others on some level and partly due to the fact that their are so many gaps in my understanding and these individuals seem to have much of that knowledge. It's like I was away the day, when all the basic stuff everyone else seems to know, was taught!

    I've always been put down for the things I don't know. Often ridiculed for my naivity. In my case i've found that when you speak articulately, but you have the naivity of a child people either view you with disdain or disbelief! I guess thats why I try so hard to learn. Even now, I still get it wrong. The thing is, that as children most of us really didn't have peer friendships of a sort that helped us understand relationships and friendships and what was acceptable.

    I was always on the periffery. The only way I could learn was by example or by mimicing. It's just us wanting to fit in. I see women doing it way more than men. They try and disguise who they really are by trying to be others.

    Focusing on the small stuff is what we do. Sometimes it makes it hard to see the bigger picture. If you are like me you probably compartmentalize these things into separate interests or obsessions. As I see it, NT's can merge their interests and are generally far more able to see how one thing can affect another. This is totally lost on me. I'm heavily relient on what others tell me is ok and that can make me vunerable.

    Finding that you have your own persona requires introspection. I'm a great observer, of others, but really poor at looking at myself or indeed at seeing how things may look to others.

    Discovering that I have choices and who i am as a person, is an ongoing process for me and this has only come about since my diagnosis. We are all the sum of our life experiences and the influences we've witnessed, but being ourselves is ok. Accepting oursleves for who we are is OK. You are unique. Celebrate that Hope. It's your way of connectiing. If it's not harming you or others, then cut youself a little slack.

    Coogy xx

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  • I'm always facinated by the intellegence of others. I'm drawn to intellegence and very often fall in love with a persons intellect, but not them. Over the years I've realized that this has given others the wrong impression and made for a good deal of confussion as to how they think I feel about them. They confuse my interest in their intellegence as interest in them. It always comes as a shock to me when they act on that. I've lost many friends because they've taken it as a sign that i'm intersted on a more intimate level.

    I guess it's partly to do with wanting to connect with others on some level and partly due to the fact that their are so many gaps in my understanding and these individuals seem to have much of that knowledge. It's like I was away the day, when all the basic stuff everyone else seems to know, was taught!

    I've always been put down for the things I don't know. Often ridiculed for my naivity. In my case i've found that when you speak articulately, but you have the naivity of a child people either view you with disdain or disbelief! I guess thats why I try so hard to learn. Even now, I still get it wrong. The thing is, that as children most of us really didn't have peer friendships of a sort that helped us understand relationships and friendships and what was acceptable.

    I was always on the periffery. The only way I could learn was by example or by mimicing. It's just us wanting to fit in. I see women doing it way more than men. They try and disguise who they really are by trying to be others.

    Focusing on the small stuff is what we do. Sometimes it makes it hard to see the bigger picture. If you are like me you probably compartmentalize these things into separate interests or obsessions. As I see it, NT's can merge their interests and are generally far more able to see how one thing can affect another. This is totally lost on me. I'm heavily relient on what others tell me is ok and that can make me vunerable.

    Finding that you have your own persona requires introspection. I'm a great observer, of others, but really poor at looking at myself or indeed at seeing how things may look to others.

    Discovering that I have choices and who i am as a person, is an ongoing process for me and this has only come about since my diagnosis. We are all the sum of our life experiences and the influences we've witnessed, but being ourselves is ok. Accepting oursleves for who we are is OK. You are unique. Celebrate that Hope. It's your way of connectiing. If it's not harming you or others, then cut youself a little slack.

    Coogy xx

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