I have posted before but still feeling confused xxx

It's never helpful when you need clarification and someone tells you just to read the instructions again. I'm the type of person who needs constant guidence and reassurance that I'm doing it right. It also takes me a long time to pull the contents and meaning from statements or written text. For me this is largely due to my Dyslexia and reading and re-reading is the only way I grasp it, but face to face instructions where I can ask further questions is what works best in my case. You may need to be more explicit with the therapist and explain that you are having difficulty understanding why these things will help.

Re OT it can be very hit and miss with some of the physical elements, but sensory has been a bit more succsessful in our case. My son has fine & gross motor difficulties. He has hyper-mobile joints and tight tendons, core stability issues, falls constantly and has a hip that pops out all the time. As you can imagine his hand-writing is illegible. In order to have any real impact on his muscle tone, I'm pretty sure he'd need to have the muscle tone of a body builder to hold himself together. He also has significant pain if he walks too far. Even a heavy day at college walking from class to class, causes pain. We only use an oesteopath & homeopathic remedies for the pain now and painkillers on the very worse days. We no longer use the special cutlery either as he's much older now.

Re The sensory stuff, for my son has been more about a mixture of limiting and exposing him to certain slimuli. He hated crowds and still becomes overwhlmed at times, but can manage it much better than when he was younger. At one point we used ear muffs. With clothing it means finding the stuff that is comfortable enough to wear. He still gets agetated at the feel of holding a glass etc etc.

Exposure to some environments over a long periods can bring anxiety levels down, but it depends whether it is anxiety about new unfamiliar environments is causing the upset or the environments themselves, so I've always exposed my kids, although the knee jerk reaction of most is to avoid them like the plague. Meltdowns are stressful for most parents, but it's very much trial and error. You have to do what you feel is right for your child.

Re discipline. I always used time-out, mainly because by the time my child was lashing out he had already reached sensory overload. It prevented the situation from escalating on both sides and gave him the necessary down time. Taking away golden rewards may not be an option for you, but if she values them that much, you could inform her that she won't earn any gold rewards that day if her behaviour continues.

Sanctions and rewards are a very personal thing really. They have to be tweaked to suit the time and family concerned. One of my boys still needs the carrot dangled. If you give him a reward before the chore is complete, it won't get done.

Can you tell me what sensory issues she has? I maybe able to offer some ideas to try.

Coogy.

It's never helpful when you need clarification and someone tells you just to read the instructions again. I'm the type of person who needs constant guidence and reassurance that I'm doing it right. It also takes me a long time to pull the contents and meaning from statements or written text. For me this is largely due to my Dyslexia and reading and re-reading is the only way I grasp it, but face to face instructions where I can ask further questions is what works best in my case. You may need to be more explicit with the therapist and explain that you are having difficulty understanding why these things will help.

Re OT it can be very hit and miss with some of the physical elements, but sensory has been a bit more succsessful in our case. My son has fine & gross motor difficulties. He has hyper-mobile joints and tight tendons, core stability issues, falls constantly and has a hip that pops out all the time. As you can imagine his hand-writing is illegible. In order to have any real impact on his muscle tone, I'm pretty sure he'd need to have the muscle tone of a body builder to hold himself together. He also has significant pain if he walks too far. Even a heavy day at college walking from class to class, causes pain. We only use an oesteopath & homeopathic remedies for the pain now and painkillers on the very worse days. We no longer use the special cutlery either as he's much older now.

Re The sensory stuff, for my son has been more about a mixture of limiting and exposing him to certain slimuli. He hated crowds and still becomes overwhlmed at times, but can manage it much better than when he was younger. At one point we used ear muffs. With clothing it means finding the stuff that is comfortable enough to wear. He still gets agetated at the feel of holding a glass etc etc.

Exposure to some environments over a long periods can bring anxiety levels down, but it depends whether it is anxiety about new unfamiliar environments is causing the upset or the environments themselves, so I've always exposed my kids, although the knee jerk reaction of most is to avoid them like the plague. Meltdowns are stressful for most parents, but it's very much trial and error. You have to do what you feel is right for your child.

Re discipline. I always used time-out, mainly because by the time my child was lashing out he had already reached sensory overload. It prevented the situation from escalating on both sides and gave him the necessary down time. Taking away golden rewards may not be an option for you, but if she values them that much, you could inform her that she won't earn any gold rewards that day if her behaviour continues.

Sanctions and rewards are a very personal thing really. They have to be tweaked to suit the time and family concerned. One of my boys still needs the carrot dangled. If you give him a reward before the chore is complete, it won't get done.

Can you tell me what sensory issues she has? I maybe able to offer some ideas to try.

Coogy.