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I have posted before but still feeling confused xxx

jrandall10

Hello everyone

Our daughter is seven and in year two at school. She was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder in July 2012 and mild asd in December 2012. Since she has been diagnosed she has always held it together while at school so we sometimes get the stress releasers at home. I have been back in touch with the paediatrician and occupational therapist since but they say its stuff we should deal with and are not entitled to any professional help. I'm having days where I feel lost as what to do. We do rewards and discipline but on bad days she isn't bothered. We have tried having home as regimented as school cause others have said she is fine at school because she knows what's expected of her. I just feel like we're letting her down. I do none of her spd therapy cause I don't quite get it. Yesterday I had a day where it was just the two of us n I lost my temper with her a few times cause of her not being able to stay focused at something for long but then I am expecting to much. This week I've been thinking of home schooling her as alot of her anxieties stem from school but I just don't know cause she lives school. She doesn't make the connection when things upset her. I am so confused. Is it ok to ignore her sen needs n treat her normal or do we need to be doing stuff. Can anyone help xx

Parents

  • Being the parent of a child with SEN can take enormous patience and energy, and you'll always question whether you're doing the right thing. But remember you are your child's best ally, and the person best able to support her. It is entirely understandable if your daughter 'loses it' when she gets home from school, as she will have been working extremely hard to keep herself together all day. Home is a trusted place where she can allow herself to relax, so give her space to do that safely and let her know that she'll be OK. While she loves school (I guess this is what you meant), I wouldn't take her out to home school, but give her your best support to cope with the difficulties she encounters there. If the paediatrician and OT say you're not entitled to professional help, they may be persuaded to provide your daughter's teachers with information so they are better able to support her in school. It may help her and you to have some consistency between school and home, with a predictable routine and structure, but it needs to be supportive rather than a straightjacket - it probably won't work all the time. As for therapy at home, take what you can fit into your family lifestyle without making your daughter (and anyone else in the family) feel as though they are in permanent therapy. Everyone needs some down-time, including you. Certainly don't ignore her sen, but don't make therapy a burden for her, you and the rest of your family. Finally give yourself a break and take heart that you are doing your best for your daughter - no-one could do more.

Reply

  • Being the parent of a child with SEN can take enormous patience and energy, and you'll always question whether you're doing the right thing. But remember you are your child's best ally, and the person best able to support her. It is entirely understandable if your daughter 'loses it' when she gets home from school, as she will have been working extremely hard to keep herself together all day. Home is a trusted place where she can allow herself to relax, so give her space to do that safely and let her know that she'll be OK. While she loves school (I guess this is what you meant), I wouldn't take her out to home school, but give her your best support to cope with the difficulties she encounters there. If the paediatrician and OT say you're not entitled to professional help, they may be persuaded to provide your daughter's teachers with information so they are better able to support her in school. It may help her and you to have some consistency between school and home, with a predictable routine and structure, but it needs to be supportive rather than a straightjacket - it probably won't work all the time. As for therapy at home, take what you can fit into your family lifestyle without making your daughter (and anyone else in the family) feel as though they are in permanent therapy. Everyone needs some down-time, including you. Certainly don't ignore her sen, but don't make therapy a burden for her, you and the rest of your family. Finally give yourself a break and take heart that you are doing your best for your daughter - no-one could do more.

Children
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