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Any ideas.

starchild

I have a 7 year old son who has now been taken out of school and home teached by myself. (Long story)

The problem I have is now we have no interactive help off anyone what so ever, they have all given up and the advice we were given made my son even worse.

My son will not wear any clothes what so ever with buttons-collars-zips-buttons etc. He will only wear pj's cotton with nothing on just plain. The only colours he will wear is pink or purple. We took him out of school as he refused and got very upset to the point where he was physically sick to wear the school uniform.

I hardly go out now because one he will only were pink pj's and two he will not walk far. He sits down and refuses to move or throws tantrums and says he is tired. He will not go in a wheel chair or buggy and really gets irratated outside with other people.

We have great issues with his sleeping, He can be awake for 3 days at a time and he gets out of a routine very easily. The slighest noise he is awake and we end up a sleep in the day and awake all night.

It takes about a week to turn his sleep back around but even then, It goes back so easily he seems to need not much sleep. The only advice we get from Doctors is put him on drugs to make him sleep.

I do not want to do this to a 7 year old maybe if he was older but not at 7. The other problem I have is he sleep with me in my bed and my husband sleeps in his bed. This has been going on for 5 years now.

If he can not feel me in bed he wakes up and is up all night, I have tried weighted blankets, teddies you name it with no avail. He wakes up all the time.

I can not go to the toilet in the night because if I move he is up and that is it. I have tried sleeping with him in the same room no avail.

This is a main reason we took him out of school with many other issues, But his attendance was very low he always has been a bad sleeper from birth.

He won't sleep - Has problems with walking and he will only wear pink clothes any ideas Thanks in advance .

 

 

  • Peditrican was a absolute idiot and we refused appointments - long story she put us on a waiting list for his sleep problems, After 2 years we heard nothing we contacted her to be told our son had no sleep problems and he was on no list. The school nurse put us in touch with Camhs waste of time !

    The doctor just wants to drug him up on mediaction for his sleep. The Therapist is worth a try

    We got the lower rate Carers and Dla allowence. We went to a tribuneral explained everything his walking etc, Had quotes from teachers , doctors etc. We were told he can walk but won't so it is not a physical disability it is a mental disability - The higher rate was only for people who couldn't walk.

    We have been down every avenue believe me !

     

  • Tried the sensory smart clothes. Lovely and soft no labels etc. But on the inside at the back of the clothes printed in the material is wording. My son took one look at that and refuse point blank to try them on - worth a try though .

  • We contacted parent partnership and even cahms, Parent partnership would go to the school meetings but that was it. Cahms was a complete waste of time and did not want to know

  • I would suggest contacting parent partnership if you type it in google it will come up with your local chapter.

    They can help and advice the school.

    they can also ask the school to be a little more leaneant in its uniform policy.

    sleep

    many on the spectrum suffer with sleep problems melatonin is ok for this,it is not a sedative

    melatonin tells our body it is time to sleep many dont have enough of it in our bodies,it occurs natrually in the body I sleep two hours if i am lucky but my mind is constantly active and shutting out the day is most difficult for me.

    clothes

    my youngest(classic autism) aslo as clothes issues though only at home ,he leaves them at school.social stories may help along with a dressing schedule,just as a reminder/

    going out

    perhaps if you also did a schedule for this,such as first (example) first clothes  asda,then market,then ??? so he knows what he is supposed to do then at the end have a visual of his fav trousers ,with visuals at the end to say all done now he can wear ??? pants/

  • I would suggest contacting parent partnership if you type it in google it will come up with your local chapter.

    They can help and advice the school.

    they can also ask the school to be a little more leaneant in its uniform policy.

    sleep

    many on the spectrum suffer with sleep problems melatonin is ok for this,it is not a sedative

    melatonin tells our body it is time to sleep many dont have neough of it in our bodies,I sleep two hours if i am lucky but my mind is constantly active and shutting out the day is most difficult for me.

    clothes

    my youngest(classic autism) aslo as clothes issues though only at home ,he leaves them at school.social stories may help along with a dressing schedule,just as a reminder/

    going out

    perhaps if you also did a schedule for this,such as first (example) first clothes  asda,then market,then ??? so he knows what he is supposed to do then at the end have a visual of his fav trousers ,with visuals at the end to say all done now he can wear ??? pants/

  • Ok i have only read your post and not the replies so i apologise if i repete anything that has already been said. My son was somewhat similar when it comes to clothing. Every day he would strip naked at school. We worked out that it was the t-shirt and trousers so now he wears the school jumper and jeans to school. Anyway back to you...have you tried asking your GP or peditrican to refer you to an occupational therapist?? They can carry out a sensory profile and get to the bottom of the sensitivity your child is experiencing.

    As for the sleeping issues i think unfortunately this is part and parcel of autism, my son isnt a good sleeper and i often get told that the school think he's tired (well duh!!)

    As for getting out and about do you or your husband drive? If the main carer between you doesnt drive you could perhaps apply to the family fund for help with driving lesson costs. Also if your child gets DLA due to the lack of walking it should really contain the higher rate of mobility, you can exchange the money for a car via motability.

    hope this helps x

  • hello again i really understand what you are going through but teaching james at home was the best thing for us but i know isnt every bodys cup of tea.i know with autism chidren have very similar trits but also that each child is special and diffrent i was worried at first about what the education officer was going to say but over the years hve realised that some of these people dont have children let alone understand anythink about autism.enjoy the time you have at home with your son because if he or you or you both decide he is ready for school at least you can say youve done your best just by being ther for him.you said your son is in to the colour pink james has had his many things that dont look right or seem right but we have after a few years actually realised that james will never change but we have to change around him by getting the help we need and james needs then hopefully he will get beeter even thogh at the moment there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel what does help is talking to ones who are going throgh what you are going through and understand because the closest people in your life never will understand.i wouldnt change james for the world but just wish i knew how to handle him more but also your right about concentration span james can do about half hour but thats the good thing with home teaching you go at there pace its not against the law to do hours that suit you and your child i have to work around james but that suits all of us in the family and no going out and being back for school time i really do enjoy teaching james at home but im not sure what he will want to do in the future.

  • My son was diagonosed at the age of 2, Due to the fact that he would not talk and seemed not to understand instructions.

    I know it is very hard on a relationship, Me and my husband argue quite a lot about my son, There is no way around it, We have found no help apart from drug him.

    I have a friend who's daughter sleep with her and she is 13, They have tried like us everything to keep the bedroom warm, cosy and special items with no avail.

    The help we got was a complete waste of time, Get your son to school - Yes we want that but he won't sleep, He falls a sleep in the day time because he is exhausted. He is physically sick when he has to wear the uniform.

    He hates other children anyone little, He just hides behide myself. Older children he is fine with. We got to the stage that even with doctors, etc. We had been warned about going to court because of his no attendance.

    To get him in to school was a nightmare I was crying he was screaming, so we like you took him out last year. I do all kinds of work with him but he has a attention span of about 1/2 hour max.

    I tell this to the education people and they just moan, But he has done more work at home than he ever did at school. They keep saying that it would be better for him to go to a special school.

    The problem is my sons copies and this special school has a mixed age group from 5-18 years. Alot of the children are very mentally and physically disabled. I just fear this would be wrong to put him in a school like that.

    I am hoping to get my son in to another school when he is older, He has no inter action with other children and our life like yours is on hold.

    My worry is that he will get worse as he gets older and who will look after him, when we are gone. If he can not function outside the home how will he on his own !

    Best Wishes

  • My son was diagonosed at the age of 2, Due to the fact that he would not talk and seemed not to understand instructions.

    I know it is very hard on a relationship, Me and my husband argue quite a lot about my son, There is no way around it, We have found no help apart from drug him.

    I have a friend who's daughter sleep with her and she is 13, They have tried like us everything to keep the bedroom warm, cosy and special items with no avail.

    The help we got was a complete waste of time, Get your son to school - Yes we want that but he won't sleep, He falls a sleep in the day time because he is exhausted. He is physically sick when he has to wear the uniform.

    He hates other children anyone little, He just hides behide myself. Older children he is fine with. We got to the stage that even with doctors, etc. We had been warned about going to court because of his no attendance.

    To get him in to school was a nightmare I was crying he was screaming, so we like you took him out last year. I do all kinds of work with him but he has a attention span of about 1/2 hour max.

    I tell this to the education people and they just moan, But he has done more work at home than he ever did at school. They keep saying that it would be better for him to go to a special school.

    The problem is my sons copies and this special school has a mixed age group from 5-18 years. Alot of the children are very mentally and physically disabled. I just fear this would be wrong to put him in a school like that.

    I am hoping to get my son in to another school when he is older, He has no inter action with other children and our life like yours is on hold.

    My worry is that he will get worse as he gets older and who will look after him, when we are gone. If he can not function outside the home how will he on his own !

    Best Wishes

  • hi there ive only just joined the site minuets ago and already feel that im not on my own.my 12 year old son was diognosed in jan this year he was obviously born with it but we were not awere.my son slept in my bed with me until he was eight and had no relationship really with my husband it got to the point where we tried to make his bedroom as inviting and compfortable as possible it diddnt work overnight but eventually did.we also at ten years old took our son out of school but this was by choice and because we can.i understand that this is not for everyone and feel that their child deserves the best education but u try that with a chil with autism james too used to really get sick on sunday nights because he hated school so much we just didnt realise why.me and my family have never looked back even though i do spend a lot more time with james than i would if he at school my husband and i have realised that if we work as a team then it works.im not saying its perfect but we do have to live around james wants and needs and have realised that until james is ready our lives have to be put on hold but he is our son and love him to bits he has no intention of going back to school .im sorry i canot give much advice as im serching for it myself but if u want to anythink else feel free and i will answer anythink i can its nice to no ime not alone.  

  • Many thanks for that - My son will wear pj's but he has a great obbsession with the colour pink and purple and girly colours.

    I will take a look thanks x

  • Hi starchild,

    I am fairly new to the forum and the mother of a 4 year old boy diagnosed with Autism. Below are my ideas, which I hope may be of some help:

    1. Re: Clothing sensitivity (seamless clothing etc - shop online)
    http://www.sensorysmart.co.uk
    http://www.smartknitkids.com

    2. Re: Plain clothing, fatigue etc
    Maybe explore "Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome", also known as "Irlen Syndrome" and "Visual Stress Syndrome"
    www.hale.ndo.co.uk/.../definition.htm
    www.bbc.co.uk/.../uk-scotland-glasgow-west-13807268

    3. Re: Sleep
    My son's diet is supplemented with vitamins and minerals for which he was shown to be deficient. We saw an improvement in sleep, once the zinc supplementation was introduced, under the guidance of a paediatrician.

    Best Wishes

  • Hello starchild

    I hope you don't mind but I've moved your post to Parents and Carers where hopefully it might get more response.

    Sorry to hear about the difficulties you're having. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot on your own.

    Here is some website information about sleep difficulties:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour/sleep-and-autism-helping-your-child.aspx

    There's quite a lot of information there, hopefully you'll find something potentially useful - there's a section of advice about children who insist on parent's presence.

    You could also look at the following link for further information on behaviour and strategies:
    http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour.aspx

    The Autism Helpline can provide information and advice on behaviour and strategies. Please see the following link for further information: www.autism.org.uk/Our-services/Advice-and-support/Autism-Helpline.aspx

    It sounds like you're doing everything by yourself, it's a lot for one person to do. I wondered if there is more help available to you than you are currently getting - either educationally or from social care. With this in mind you may also want to look over the services provided by The National Autistic Society which may be of help: http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services.aspx

    The following link provides information on getting help from social services:
    (England and Wales)
    http://www.autism.org.uk/17378
    (Scotland)
    http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/benefits-and-community-care/care-and-benefits-for-parents-and-carers/care-support-for-children-with-autism/social-services-getting-help-for-children-and-adults-scotland.aspx

    I hope something here will be of use to you, and I'm sure some of our other users will also have some ideas for you.

    Good luck.

    Sandra - mod

  • Hello,

    I am sorry to hear about your difficulties with your son.  I am sorry not to be able to offer personal suggestions, but would refer you to OAASIS as another source of input.  I believe they have a helpline for ASD parents and carers  www.oaasis.co.uk

    I wish you the very best and hope you find some answers.