Hi, I'm at my wits end and really need some advice. My 19 year old daughter has aspergers. She has been living in a residential place for just over a year and is making excellent progress with independent living skills. She has lots of potential but the main thing that holds her back is her violent outbursts when she has a meltdown. These happen less than they used to but she is still totally out of control when the red mist descends. She's physically violent, verbally abusive and destroys things.
Most of the time these outbursts can be avoided. The problem is that there is a very high turnover of staff and they are so short staffed that they are having to take on agency people who are not trained. As a result, they are not aware of my daughter's triggers... being interrupted, being hurried, being touched. Last week all 3 triggers happened and the meltdown was so bad that the two staff on duty (one who'd been there a week, the other was on her 2nd day) had to barricade themselves into the staff room and called the police.
My daughter was relieved to be arrested because (afterwards) she told me that she felt safer at the police station. She was arrested for assault (punching both members of staff) and criminal damage (she'd smashed some plates and damaged walls). Although they had called the police, they didn't want to press charges but despite this, my daughter received a criminal caution.
I'm not for a moment defending her behaviour but I think the care home have failed her.
The reason for this post is to find out what happens to other asd adults who have violent outbursts like this. She's been having them for most of her life and I don't suppose they'll stop any time soon, and clearly it's not appropriate for her to be in the criminal justice system, but equally she can't be allowed to hurt people and damage property.
She has such tremendous potential to live a happy, rewarding life with the minimum of support but I am terrified that she'll end up in prison, or in a secure mental unit, or dead (because she's punched the wrong person). None of the violence happens in public, by the way.
Does anyone have experience of what kind of organisation can support someone like my daughter? As far as I can tell, the only way to stop the craziness is by trying to limit the triggers but the only way I can see this happening is with staff who are consistent and well trained. Trusting a care organisation such as a supported living service, where staff seem transient, feels like a recipe for further disaster but I don't see any alternative.
Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks.
