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Weighty Relationships?

TheCatWoman

One of the things I've noticed over the years is how my weight changes when I'm in a relationship compared to when I'm not. When I'm single I seem to naturally lose weight and then stick at about a size 14-16, which is about right for my height and build etc, however when I'm in a relationship my weight steadily increases and the biggest I've been was size 22-24. I don't think its about eating either, as I eat the same, exercise the same, I think its psychological. I think I feel invaded in some way, and my place in the world less, so I have to physically take up more space, until the relationship ends and I go back to my normal size.

Whilst I realise it happens, I don't really understand it, do others have a similar thing?

Parents

  • I have heard of this before, putting on weight in a relationship, but that was only with non autistic people. I just Googled and apparently it's a well know phenomena, due to mirroring your partners eating/portion sizes/frequency, etc. Dinning out more, getting more comfortable with your partner, lots of time sitting watching movies and tv and going out less and feeling secure lowers cortisol. However TheCatWoman, it sounds like you experiance the opposite? It's interesting that you say you feel invaded in some way. I''ve been single for over 20 years and can quite imagine feeling this way too with someone else so emeshed in my life. I've never got those couples that are always touching each other, it would drive me insane! Sweat smile 

  • in reply to LateToTheAlphaQuadrant

    Did the study you saw include ND's as many don't or don't say.

    I'm a big person with a good appetite and I wouldn't say I eat out or sit about any more or less in a relationship than out of one.

    I think I've felt invaded because of the amount of emotional labour that goes into being a woman in a hetrosexual relationship, it's like guys who could manage their social lives and xmas and birthdays suddenly stop being able to do so once a woman enters their lives. Then there's having to increasingly manage their emotional state as the relationship lengthens, it's like I'm having to feel for them and deal with the consequense's of their feelings and give it back to them in a neat package. I've also found with men of my generation, not only do they expect this emotional labour, but they expect to be making all the choices and when I'm presented with options by them and choose the "wrong one", then a massive sulk ensues. I mean why not just ask me if I fancy going to such a such a place rather than make it an empty choice?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    The results never said anything about autism so I presume not. Thanks for your explanation, it sounds exhausting and complicated, no wonder you feel invaded! 

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