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Looking for reassurance

kkayy83

Hi everyone, 

I’m new here and newly diagnosed with autism and booked in for my last ADHD assessment. I feel like I’m really struggling at the moment and I’m really spiralling. Despite being a grown up, I accidentally got into a row with someone I work with on Facebook about immigration. Her post started with “I know this will offend some people but whatever “ leading me to believe she wouldn’t care if someone said something. Then the post had lots of information in there that wasn’t exactly true. So I replied to just say that misinformation can upset some people and I thought she would like to know that some of the things in the post were wrong. Now her and her other friends are attacking me and I’ve tried to say that I wasn’t trying to be in a row, I just wanted to let her know that some of the stuff wasn’t true. But I feel awful about it and I feel worried to go back into work and I can’t bear the thought of people being cross with me because I wasn’t doing anything wrong it was just wrong information and I didn’t think she’d mind me saying something. And we work in nursing so not meant to put things on social media about political views so I’m worried about that as well. I don’t feel like there’s anything I can say that’s not going to make it worse because the more I try and explain that I was just pointing out that things were incorrect, the meaner people are being. I don’t know how to stop being worried about it. 

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    I agree, I hide some people so I don’t have to see their posts, sometimes I think I should leave Facebook due to the conversations I end up in, but now I just don’t add any comments, trying to preserve my mental health. 

  • in reply to Iain

    I guess I hadn’t considered that I may also be breaking the rules by replying to the post, i only replied because the data was wrong (not facts from the news). I am cross with myself because I know better than to get into things like this but I genuinely just wanted to correct the information, I wasn’t trying to start a fight or even get into a debate. I would have appreciated being corrected if I had posted something that was incorrect but I forget that some people don’t take it that way and think I’m being a jerk. Thanks for the advice, no more mud for me 

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Thank you, that’s really kind of you to reply 

  • kkayy83 said:
    I don’t feel like there’s anything I can say that’s not going to make it worse

    Since you understand that you have broken the rules about posting political opinions then I think if I were in your shoes I would delete my social media profile. If you have no history of this then I could always say the account was compromised or a similar lie to save my job.

    kkayy83 said:
    I just wanted to let her know that some of the stuff wasn’t true

    This is a real can of worms. Many things you may think are true may just be true from your perspective unless they are hard facts (eg numbers reported by the government) but when you lift those stones you start to realise that the "facts" are often information that is reported from a particular perspective so is not as hard and fast a you may have thought.

    It is best to steer clear of any arguments, even when you are sure you are right. The people on the other end of the argument may enjoy the process of arguing far beyond the truth so it helps to recall the old saying "never wrestle with a pig. Both of you will get dirty and the pig enjoys it".

    I have found that with some people on this site - now I just ignore their attempts to lure me into the mud and knowing that this frustrates them is enough for me.

  • I'm sorry you are having a hard time, just difficult when people mistake desire for accuracy as a reason to be nasty to someone. Especially hard when people aren't very caring in a caring profession. I hope you managed to get on with your work and hopefully they didn't bring it up. 

    Perhaps I think there is a mute function so you don't have to see that person's offensive posts? To save any more discomfort? I haven't been on in a year, so can't remember what they call it, but I think it's an option! And then hopefully it will calm down at work if you don't mention it at all?

    Best of luck.