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Struggling with the support available.

Paul_B

I was diagnosed with ADHD 10 months ago and autism 2 months ago. I’m almost 40.

I work in a mentally demanding environment. We have a full care team and a 24-hour support helpline.

The problem is that whenever I call the helpline, nobody is available. They take your number and never call back. I’ve written numerous complaints. A few days ago I reached out to the care team on duty — there are two of them — and neither even replied.

I tried the official support emails and every link was broken, every access code invalid. Apparently the whole system changed over a year ago and nobody updated it. Not a single member of the care team noticed.

I spoke to the care team lead. He told me that if the support isn’t working for me, maybe I should look for support outside. Who is this support actually for? He couldn’t answer.

Am I crazy for thinking this is completely out of order? I’ve had to take a few days of annual leave because I can’t focus and it’s driving me insane.

How do you manage your emotions when an obvious injustice like this just gets ignored? How do you stop the constant looping thoughts?

  • Hi there Paul.  This sounds like a really difficult situation.  I see that you've already had some replies from our other community members, but I would also like to direct you to some NAS advice and guidance pages that may be relevant: 

    What can I do if I'm having trouble at work? - this page talks about reasonable adjustments, discrimination and the Equality Act and includes links to other resources such as the Equality Advisory Support Service, ACAS and the Employment Statutory code of practice.

    I hope this is helpful to you, and am wishing you all the best.  Please feel free to post again and let us know how things are going.  The community is always here to listen and support you.

  • Paul_B said:
    How do you manage your emotions when an obvious injustice like this just gets ignored? How do you stop the constant looping thoughts?

    I understand what you are writing, because I've had many situations like this in my life. It is especially hard to bear at work, when you are supposedly in a 'caring' environment. Perhaps, first accept this is a horrible but 'normal' thing. Second, those in the caring professions are often too busy caring for clients to care about colleagues - I know this is true as I worked in the NHS several decades and experienced some shocking things like bullying, ridicule and lack of interest in positive change. Third, once things degenerate it is really hard to turn things around unless there is a change of management who are more approachable because they are new and keen. You can't do it by yourself, so don't expect to! If you keep carrying the weight alone it will eat into your mental well being. 

    As   writes below, the looping might continue but does, in my experience, lose its power over you over time, becoming like an annoying mosquito rather than eating into your soul! Also, ruminating is a way of thinking it through, each time you experience it. Hopefully, over time, you will spiral above it. This sounds odd, but try reading philosophy like Stoicism. I found this really helpful - I've used The Daily Stoic for 7 years and this has improved the quality of my life - I get over hurdles very fast now. Get a blank hardback Journal and do the exercises every day - these are meditations, 1 per day. 

    I think there are many answers and posssibilities, but you have to decide what is best for you, without ruining your life by walking out for example. [I've done this a couple of times, and it was really hard and I wouldnt recommend it unless you have another income source]. Are there colleagues you can trust to vent your feelings jointly. Only rock the boat as far as it won't affect your job security - being a whistle blower is not a good idea unless you've left the toxic place and are secure - this is my experience.

    To survive you need to find other things to focus on every day, that you can look forward to when each day is over. Mine is the Daily Stoic as above, reading my weather station and writing threads on here. Keep communicating on this site and respond to other threads, taking focus off the horrible thoughts. I'm sure the moderators will suggest ideas when they read your thread but good luck meanwhile and remember you are not alone now you belong to this community Candle.

  • I'm sorry, I can't tell you how to stop it, I can only tell you I also get looping thoughts on everything I feel is important. Every single injustice really consumes me. I think about what I'm going to do about it over and over and it gets better when I do. I never fully suceed in getting justice thought, but it's easier to let go once I try. I guess. Over time it goes away anyways.