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Hyper-literal humour I keep coming up with

Maja

- My local bus service has an advertisement currently running that basically reads "kids travel free all August"

*I need to check if there's a limit on the number of young goats I can bring with me on a given journey. 

- Outside an opticians, they've a sign that states: "free eye test with purchase".

*Does the purchase need to be from this company?

*I'd like to buy a lens cleaning cloth please... And may I book the free eye test?

*(If it turns out there's a minimum £££): I'd like to buy these £300 designer frames please, and have my free eye test. ... I'd like a refund on these frames please"

Parents

  • Football and sport in general is full of things like this, including absolutely bizarre metaphors and phrases.

    I read on Facebook the other day that Carlisle United are "sleepwalking into a decade in the National League". How does something that is incapable of sleep and even being, in this case a football club, sleepwalk? I just said out loud "zzzzz...Sutton away....zzzz...Scunthorpe at home...zzz...ugh....zzzzz....GATESHEAD ON BOXING DAY....zzzzzz"

Reply

  • Football and sport in general is full of things like this, including absolutely bizarre metaphors and phrases.

    I read on Facebook the other day that Carlisle United are "sleepwalking into a decade in the National League". How does something that is incapable of sleep and even being, in this case a football club, sleepwalk? I just said out loud "zzzzz...Sutton away....zzzz...Scunthorpe at home...zzz...ugh....zzzzz....GATESHEAD ON BOXING DAY....zzzzzz"

Children
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