I haven't researched autism

People say I have it. I actually avoid it. I know I have it, but I don't want think about it. I don't want to be diagnosed. I worry how the diagnosis will affect me in the future.

I know this is silly. I have multiple illnesses and just want to handle that. 

When I'm on my own (which I always am), I don't have to worry about autism I just stim way. It's getting worse as I age. 

Would a diagnosis help me get a council property? I don't think it will. I really need one. I have LCWRA, yet my council rejected my application to be on the list. It's like they're saying, "Your not fit to work or do work related activities, but we won't house you".

I'll go to CAB and see if they can help me. I have a phobia of getting help with rent. They used to call it DSS tenants? Anyone can walk in to the property at any time and they can raise the rent if they desire.Then I''ll have to move out. I would like somewhere where I can settle down and manage my illnesses. I think a council property will give me this.

My mother is very ill and vomiting. God forbid when she is taken ill and hospitalised, I will be homeless.

I'll go to CAB next week and see if they can help. I don't like the idea of sleeping on a park bench with my impending colostomy bag.

I really don't want to cull myself. I'm not depressed and I like being alive, but there is a point where it's the most humane thing to do. An unfortunate state. "Why talk about it? Just do it" The thought of self culling digusts me. I like being alive, but I've messed up, big time. I don't have an inheritance anymore. I was relying on that. Not my mother's fault. 

What you're seeing here is failure to launch.

I hope you're all well.

Parents
  • Dear NAS71232,

    It sounds like this has been a really difficult time for you. I can imagine that the worries about the future are hard to manage and that can feel heavy at times. 

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you are at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help. 

    You could call your GP and ask for an urgent appointment – they can help you get the right support.  

    If it’s not an emergency but you’re still struggling, speaking to a health professional can help. If your GP is closed, you can call 111 for NHS support. In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now choose option 2 to speak directly with mental health professionals: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/.  

    Other free, confidential support includes: 

    • Samaritans – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day 
    • SANEline – 0300 304 7000 (4.30-10.30pm daily) 
    • Shout – Text 85258, 24 hours a day 
    • Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am-6pm) 

    Remember you deserve support, and the community is here for you.

    Warmest wishes,

    Olivia Mod

     

Reply
  • Dear NAS71232,

    It sounds like this has been a really difficult time for you. I can imagine that the worries about the future are hard to manage and that can feel heavy at times. 

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you are at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help. 

    You could call your GP and ask for an urgent appointment – they can help you get the right support.  

    If it’s not an emergency but you’re still struggling, speaking to a health professional can help. If your GP is closed, you can call 111 for NHS support. In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now choose option 2 to speak directly with mental health professionals: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/.  

    Other free, confidential support includes: 

    • Samaritans – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day 
    • SANEline – 0300 304 7000 (4.30-10.30pm daily) 
    • Shout – Text 85258, 24 hours a day 
    • Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am-6pm) 

    Remember you deserve support, and the community is here for you.

    Warmest wishes,

    Olivia Mod

     

Children
No Data