Does anyone else experience extreme social anxiety to the point of feeling paranoid that everyone is laughing? I feel like I get treated so badly as soon as I step out the front door.
Does anyone else experience extreme social anxiety to the point of feeling paranoid that everyone is laughing? I feel like I get treated so badly as soon as I step out the front door.
The only time my family was overpaid benefits was back in 1980.
My father was made redundant and I was filling out the forms for his claim for unemployment benefit because he was illiterate. My mother joked that we should include the cat as a dependent.
So I filled the form out.
Six weeks later, blank versions of the same forms arrived by post with instructions to fill them in again. My father took the forms to a professional social worker to complete and we received less money after that.
There does seem to be a lot of benefit fraud, but do they have to treat everyone like a criminal and if they find all is as it should be and continue paying your benefit, why are you left with the feeling that its because they'e not found enough evidence against you? Most people have enough trouble getting the benefits the law says they're entitled too, let alone defrauding the DWP intentionally, I honestly don't know how people do it? What seems wrong to me is that if they "over pay" you because of thier mistakes you are the one thats treated as a criminal for not returning money you didn't know you shouldn't have.
'Stupidity' is nothing to do with learning disability or intelligence - it is chosen behaviour. You are thinking of 'stupidity' in terms of historic words like 'moron', 'imbecile', 'idiot;' - the modern meaning is a verb to describe reckless behaviour.
I’m afraid that isn’t accurate. The OED (for example) defines “stupidity” (a noun) as:
“The state, quality or fact of being stupid or foolish; lack or absence of intelligence, perceptiveness, or common sense. Also: stupid or foolish thinking or behaviour.”
I was also careful to note that “‘stupidity’ can (although doesn't necessarily) mean a lack of intelligence”.
It's nothing to do with learning disability - I am annoyed you wrote that. You are doing the same thing of which you are accusing me!
I didn’t equate learning disabilities with stupidity. Or claim that people with LDs lack intelligence. Neither did you, and I didn't accuse you of it, either.
But LDs do involve reduced intellectual ability. That can sometimes be confused with a lack of intelligence.
Many people with LDs suffer from bullying, including name-calling. I hate to think how often that includes being called “stupid”.
So the point of my response was just to flag how your reply could reasonably be perceived as involving those associations. And suggesting, by extension, that we should feel sorry for people with LDs.
I don’t want to be pitied for being autistic, and I suspect many people with LDs might feel the same. I certainly wouldn’t mind some empathy and compassion, but that’s not the same thing.
I’m absolutely sure, for whatever it may be worth, that wasn’t your intention. It’s perhaps best viewed as an indirect, but foreseeable, potential issue. I certainly didn’t mean to upset you, for which I apologise. Your earlier reply did feel quite shocking to me when I read it, and I hope this better explains why.
I’m sorry to hear you also suffer with this. My 10 year old boy is autistic and suffers tremendously with this. He is unable to go anywhere, he goes into a complete panic attack and flight mode if anyone is on the same street path as him, so far I am struggling to get any support on how to help him with this, CBT doesn’t help as he has situational mutism so will only talk to myself and he struggles to understand his emotions.
if you have any advice I would be so grateful, it’s so heartbreaking.
It's nothing to do with learning disability - I am annoyed you wrote that. You are doing the same thing of which you are accusing me!
'Stupidity' is nothing to do with learning disability or intelligence - it is chosen behaviour. You are thinking of 'stupidity' in terms of historic words like 'moron', 'imbecile', 'idiot;' - the modern meaning is a verb to describe reckless behaviour.
Why shouldn't acts of stupidity be considered disability? That way you can develop a bit of empathy, in hope people change their behaviour - ANY human is capable of change.
There are good people and stupid people and always will be. Look at them as stupid and simply feel sorry for them - stupidity is a kind of disability, after all!
By way of a gently-intended observation, and considering the autistic community as a whole, I feel uncomfortable with that framing.
Firstly, calling stupidity “a kind of disability” risks making disability itself sound like an insult.
My other concerns stem from the fact that a learning disability involves reduced intellectual ability. According to the NAS, around a third of autistic people also have a learning disability. And “stupidity” can (although doesn't necessarily) mean a lack of intelligence.
Taken in combination, I think it's less than ideal to use framing that risks linking "stupidity", disability, and pity. I don't feel that's fair or respectful to people with learning disabilities, whether they're autistic or allistic.
Thats not unusual paranoia that normal paranoia and everyone feels like that when the DWP start hassling
if stupidity is a disability, then why don't we regulate them in some way?
Good idea. Perhaps Andy Burnham can add this to his, 'to do' list. I think 18th century public stocks would be a good 'sentence' - you can throw sponges [not veg - tomatoes et al are far to expensive to waste]. Just imagine, boy racers, irresponsible e-bike riders, drunks, malicious gossips, people who push in the supermarkets and on streets.
it always will promote thoughtful discussion , and that’s what we all like.
Yes, indeed! I look forward every day to my time spent on here, trawling through. You can learn new things all the time, and it also makes you re-consider your attitudes and beliefs.
I doubt any of us feel like we fit in, it comes with the territory. I feel like an imposter and like I say too much sometimes and no one is interested, but it’s okay. Keep posting if you have something to say, it always will promote thoughtful discussion , and that’s what we all like.
It took my ex wife and kids 20 years to tell me theyve always known i was very different, they kind of listed all my strange character traits to me. If it hadnt been for that i would never have known . But also if they had told me much earlier i wouldnt have wasted as much time wondering why i felt different to everyone around me and would have sought diagnosis earlier . I also cant figure out why everyone is looking/laughing at me its illogical and disturbing.
This is horrific for me , i feel like everyone is looking at me for one reason , because they know im different and if i quickly glance at them it always feels like they are laughing at me . Between this and the overall social anxiety i spend virtually all my time indoors . Its like they are all looking at me all the time previously when i used to go out its caused panic attacks and me cancelling a journey and getting home as quickly as possible. So in a nutshell yes and im sorry you are suffering this too .
Hi NAS78935,
I can definitely relate to this, although I have no doubt that lots of people on the spectrum have similar experience.
If you do feel that this kind of anxiety is having a significant impact on you, may I suggest having a look at this page: Anxiety. Further information can also be found here: Anxiety in autistic people.
Please know that this is a place for autistic people to be themselves and there is no need to worry about 'fitting in' here. You have the same value as anyone else here and I hope you can come to realise this in time. Also don't hesitate to post whenever you need help or advice on managing these feelings.
Warm regards
Brian Mod
I'd not heard of the spotlight effect either, but seeing as I've had more than one person say I'm embarrassing, I don't think I'm being totally paranoid.
I think RSD fits in some ways. But it doesn't explain why I actually do perceive people looking at me in the first place
I know we shouldn't discriminate or make life awkward for the disabled, but if stupidity is a disability, then why don't we regulate them in some way? Instead we seem content to let them flaunt their disability daily on a world wide basis, is this really fair on the rest of us? Should there be some law that protects them from thier stupidy? Why can't I run them over when they step out blindly in front of my car, face down in thier phones, it should be seen as Darwinism in action!
I haven’t heard of the spotlight effect before, I would say I didn’t like being perceived but this is a much better description.
Its strange I’ve never realised that I constantly monitor my behaviour either but I do this too.
Thank younew123
This! I do read this and feel it describes me. OP what do you think about this suggestion?
Don't worry about it to much, just keep posting, I don't feel like I really fit in here either and I've been knocking about the place for ages
