getting anxious

hi just trying to get some advice really. my son was referred to see a speech and language therapist 6 months after he started in reception as the teacher realised that he wasnt being naughty when he wasnt doing what he was asked to do but because he couldnt understand what she was asking him to do. we went to see the therapist who noticed he couldnt hold concentration but couldnt understand how he was doing it as there wasnt anything in the room to distract him. so saying the therapist said she would refer him to a paediatrician at the hospital for his behavioral issues. 3 years on we find out that the referral never got made. so hes in year 2 at a new school and hes extremely bright, really well behaved at school, model pupil as far as they are concerned, outside of school he is aggressive towards me and my daughter, cannot understand what is an accident or on purpose, does not understand sarcasm at all and takes everything as literal, he is obsssessed with dinosaurs to the point that from the minute we leave the house in the morning and from when i pick him up from school he thinks he is a dinosaur to the ppoint i cant get through to him. the school thinks there isnt an issue. weve seen a paediatrician finally who told us there is a very high chance he has aspergers, the school still arent that helpful because they dont see the behaviour that we do on a regular basis. the 2nd consultant has finally got him an ados test in december, the senco at the school has said to me that the consultants decision will be final when doing the test and lets not jump to any conclusions. i am now doubting everything and i am worrying that because the test will be held at school where my son is behaved because there is structure that they will say he is fine. i just dont know what to do for him as i know that if they say no he hasnt he will get no support and i just dont know how to help him :( his new year 3 teacher noticed that in the first 4 days of school after summer holidays that he has no centration, and she doesnt understand how he is at the level he needs to be in year 3 when he should be below everybody else because of the lack of concentration.

please if anyone could give me some advice it  would be gratefully appreciated x x x x

  • thank you for yours coments. i have given the consultant pages and pages of examples of my sons behaviour, what he was like as a baby, and what he is like on a daily basis. i have also videoed himon my phone when he has kicked off. So many people have said that he is on the spectrum, we just have to wait for the ados test in december for a diagnosis and then maybe he will start to get the support he needs x x

  • Hi, keep a detailed daily diary about your son, recording how he is when not at school.  Also, if he's willing, use video to illustrate your concerns.  It sounds like the school is unconvinced because he's ok there +, like many of our children, lets out his stress when he gets home.  School cd well get more difficult for him as each yr goes by (lots of posts on that as well) so that needs to be borne in mind.  It sounds like the school is turning a blind eye, but that'll change if things get difficult.  I wd contact the paed consultant + let him/her know you're keeping a record + ask for advice about it, such as can you send it to him/her prior to the school visit.  There's info via the home pg on diagnosis/assessment. 

  • I have noticed that many children w Autism portray themselves as dragons, dinosaurs, in my case an orc, at times in childhood, and may continue to hold an affinity with such creatures in adulthood (witness the popularity of the dinosaur avatar on this site). 

    It occurs to me that this might be an attempt to communicate the inherant differences between themselves and the NTs around them that they are partially or fully aware of but unable to effectively explain.