Having niche interests is hard

So, I've always found it hard to connect to many people over the course of my life because I find I have no common interests with them. They always talk about what's mainstream and what everyone else is doing, but then I try to talk about stuff I'm interested in - niche, almost obscure stuff as far as the mainstream goes, and nobody really cares.

It's kinda disheartening in a way. It doesn't really help that I often find whatever's mainstream to be kinda dumb and mindless.

  • Same here. I dont know, how people are able to talk about so many topics and change them so quickly. And on top of that i turn out to be awkward because i have never heard of a band or movie, that they discuss. So i used to even hear, that i grew up in a cave.

  • Sounds nice! That is one part I love about academia and my work as a scientist- being surrounded by other people that are interested in overlapping niche interests. Though I am generally up for any topic. Sadly in my current lab I don’t fit in and noone wants to chat about science or seems to have any interest in other people’s work- this has made me quite demotivated and depressed. Until then I didn’t realise how important it was to me. People often think that because I am autistic it means I am going to be bad at talking to people etc but it really depends on the context- at conferences etc I am generally very good at connecting to people as I can just talk about science and skip all the small talk. I had one supervisor in the past that didn’t get this at all- he thought that because I struggled to eat lunch in a lound caffeteria with all the others (and make random small talk) that I would be incapable about connecting to others on a scientific level. 

  • Thats becuse we're British (mostly) and our brains curl up and try and escape via our earholes when someone mentions maths, lol!

  • I like video games and anime mostly

  • Being judgemental about other people’s interests, as some on this thread have been, immediately pushes them away. Also remember that because we have these niche interests does not make us superior to others with broader and more general interests 

    I agree, and also I know allistic people with 'niche' interests.

  • My daughter likes to spot security cameras. 

    It used to give me great anxiety when she was little as I'd imagine it would look dodgy like I was the one telling her to look out for them, but I've learned to be more relaxed about her interest. If we are sitting somewhere she'll point them all out and wave at them. 

    She got really excited about an add-on to Minecraft that let you have security cameras in the game. 

  • I photograph stop tap covers, I did start with the larger manhole covers but a. they are usually in the road, so dangerous to capture, and b. too big to get an image dead perpendicular to the camera shot. Its always been an interest and I started by trying to do rubbings on plain wallpaper, bit like brass rubbing, but it wasn’t very successful. The advent of smart phones made it really possible and then in the pandemic when all we were allowed to do was go for a token walk I captured most of the types in my area. I even have an entire one, won on ebay. Its top is the simple lid you see in footpath but beneath is some serious cast iron. I like those especially which name the foundary that cast them, eg: Stanton and Stavely, they really are beautiful “found art”. 

    Laughing

  • The known universe is around 10 billion light years in diameter.

    We are so small against the stars, so large against the sky.

  • I like outer-space a lot. I know a lot about the different things. The andromeda is 220,000 light years in diameter and is roughly twice the size of the milky way. The closest planetary nebula to us is 655 light years away and it's called the Helix nebula: currently the white dwarf is in the centre burning at around 120x10^3 degrees Celsius and is surrounded by 40x10^3 gas clouds each spanning a distance of twice that our solar system. The brightest star in the night sky is called Siriis (not black) and is around 8.4 light years from us, which is about 56 million miles away. The known universe is around 10 billion light years in diameter.

  • I generally love learning about new things and I love detail- I like it when people info dump about their special interests to me.

  • What are your interests? I think niche interests are so cool though I understand it can be really hard when you can’t find anyone to share them with

  • look it up on Wikipedia. 

    I like to do that. Wikipedia has been much derided but there are many experts writing there, making at excellent source for every imaginable subject and in layman's language. 

  • Well, it can be a positive in the way that it's something unique and fascinating. Getting into a niche hobby feels like uncovering buried treasure while everyone else scrambles for the dirt on the surface. But at the same time, it does make you feel alone

  • In my early career there weren't many of us software engineers, so I often found I'd end up saying little about my job because nobody else would understand me. Also, my early career was classified, so the conversation quickly dried up!

    As time went on, I found things other people could connect to:

    • Buying a house or renting
    • Buying a car or driving
    • Going to places, like London or Reading or whatever
    • Going to see rock bands, Glastonbury Faire etc.

    With time, software engineering became mainstream as people realised you could make serious money in it.

    As a young adult, I had no idea what I should talk about, but with time I started to learn.

    I did find stuff I simply didn't like - football, sports and drinking. So bang goes a lot of possible socialisation!

  • Having special interests is like entering pool at the deep end: cool, if you can dive and swim well. But does person you talk to can too? From my personal experience, if I start my gardening conversation with someone by bringing up organic chemistry conversion, then whoever I make to dive in at the deep end with me will not understand or misunderstand what I wanted to share, because it can be out of context. I'd try to find out first if they have a garden; if they grow anything or just prefer grass; if they do, I'll ask what, and if they use any fertilisers; if those are organic or commercial, etc.

    So if I was talking about geometry to someone I knew knows what geometry is, I'd try to put it as a statement like 'I've just learned recently such a cool fact, that if a triangle is fitted within a semi-circle, one of its angles will be always 90°. It is [x] and was discovered by [a]...' 

    Yes, it's a lot of fluff and takes time and effort, but some complex things can be explained fairly easily.

    Yes, I had geometry at school and loved it, but never had chance to use it once I finished school, which was a while ago.

  • I am annoyed, but Not at people here.

    The outside (Real world), is much worse.

  • You sound quite annoyed at people, others for not replying and me for not researching YOUR special interest. Maybe try being kinder, less abrupt,, use softer language. 

  • Easiest explanation is, look it up on Wikipedia.