How do you eat fruit?

I have rituals with eating different types of fruit - do share yours! I put prepared fruit in a small bowl before eating:

1. bananas - remove skin, including the little pit and 'strings', cut into 2" chunks

2. apples - cut into four, slice off cores, then cut each into 2

3. grapes - take a small bunch and remove stems

4. mango - slice into 2, slice out the pit, eat rest with spoon

Pears are a special case, being notoriously unpredictable. They go from hard to mush in an indeterminate time. This fruit appears to be sentient, so the best approach is to saunter past the bowl nonchalently, careful not to 'eyeball' it [in the manner of David Attenborough and the gorillas]. On the return journey, casually stroke the skin and take a little prod [that way this naughty fruit is less aware of your interest]. Do the same every day - eave it a day and it's bound to be too late! On what seems an appropriate encounter, grab said fruit, quickly prepare and pop into your mouth to savour. Voila!

Parents
  • Banana - peel like like there do in cartoons with 4 peels, remove the nubby bit at the  tops, and the little strany bits along the banana, bite into it complain that its not ripe enough or its too  ripe, and moan that I like bananas but the peeknees window is very small.

    Strawberry - bite into it leaving the leafy stem bit and then be proud of myself for over coming to ich of eating the seed.

    Apple - get a nice firm green apple and use my bugs bunny teeth on it and enjoy the juicy part of the apple and toilerte the green skin, knowing its  healthy.

    Grapes - Find the cotton candy grapes and enjoy the sweet sweet taste of my childhood.

    Citrus fruits - Avoid it, love the  taste, but hate the texture, so only have it as a flavoured drink, sweets or desert.

Reply
  • Banana - peel like like there do in cartoons with 4 peels, remove the nubby bit at the  tops, and the little strany bits along the banana, bite into it complain that its not ripe enough or its too  ripe, and moan that I like bananas but the peeknees window is very small.

    Strawberry - bite into it leaving the leafy stem bit and then be proud of myself for over coming to ich of eating the seed.

    Apple - get a nice firm green apple and use my bugs bunny teeth on it and enjoy the juicy part of the apple and toilerte the green skin, knowing its  healthy.

    Grapes - Find the cotton candy grapes and enjoy the sweet sweet taste of my childhood.

    Citrus fruits - Avoid it, love the  taste, but hate the texture, so only have it as a flavoured drink, sweets or desert.

Children
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