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TheCatWoman

There's this bloke I often seen when I'm walking my dog I don't talk to him much, but a couple of friends seemed to know him quite well, last spring he said to us 'time to get your legs out ladies and show us your pretty dresses', both my friends stepped in before I could answer and just giggled and laughed it off Where as I felt offended, in what way is it appropriate, friendly or funny to make these sorts of comments, he seemed to think it would cheer him and presumably other men up. I was told he "didn't mean anything by it", but to me he obviously did mean something and I doubt if he would of said anything similar to a man or if a man had been with us. I try and avoid him now, not only does Fearn not like his dog, but, if he said anything like that to me I'd tell him to eff off and that he's a perv.

How would you respond to this situation?

Would you say this sort of thing to a woman or women and why? 

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  • Thank you for confirming my feelings, he's about my age, mid sixties, I don't think he's violent or anything, just thinks he's funny and I'm sure if challenged wouldn have no clue that his remarks are in anyway inappropriate or sexist, I'm fairly sure he'd get upset and say something like men not being allowed to compliment women anymore. But to me that's a big part of the problem, men like him think that kind of remark is complimentary and that they have every right to say such things. I'd he'd have said something like "isn't it nice to put the jumpers away now with this lovely weather?", it would of felt more normal and conversational, with no implication about women baring their flesh to please men.

    I often wonder what he would of said if we had of worn shorts and "pretty dresses" and he'd not liked what we'd exposed?

    I find it very confusing, on the one hand women should cover up and not show themselves off because men might not be able to contain themselves, but if we cover up, longer dresses, trousers etc, then we're told to uncover for men to look at us? 

    What if we don't feel comfortable exposing our bodies? If I were to chosen to wear a burkini to cover my scars, varicose veins and wobbly bits, or just because I want to feel comfortable, I've heard of women being told off by random men for not wearing a "proper" swimming costume, some countries, Italy I think have banned them and they also want to ban "ugly" women from beaches. I bet there'd be howls of outrage if someone suggested lecherous old men should be banned from beaches! 

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  • Thank you for confirming my feelings, he's about my age, mid sixties, I don't think he's violent or anything, just thinks he's funny and I'm sure if challenged wouldn have no clue that his remarks are in anyway inappropriate or sexist, I'm fairly sure he'd get upset and say something like men not being allowed to compliment women anymore. But to me that's a big part of the problem, men like him think that kind of remark is complimentary and that they have every right to say such things. I'd he'd have said something like "isn't it nice to put the jumpers away now with this lovely weather?", it would of felt more normal and conversational, with no implication about women baring their flesh to please men.

    I often wonder what he would of said if we had of worn shorts and "pretty dresses" and he'd not liked what we'd exposed?

    I find it very confusing, on the one hand women should cover up and not show themselves off because men might not be able to contain themselves, but if we cover up, longer dresses, trousers etc, then we're told to uncover for men to look at us? 

    What if we don't feel comfortable exposing our bodies? If I were to chosen to wear a burkini to cover my scars, varicose veins and wobbly bits, or just because I want to feel comfortable, I've heard of women being told off by random men for not wearing a "proper" swimming costume, some countries, Italy I think have banned them and they also want to ban "ugly" women from beaches. I bet there'd be howls of outrage if someone suggested lecherous old men should be banned from beaches! 

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