I need advice

Hi Becky73 
You've had a very tough start to college, sometimes though it must still feel like High School when who you thought were friends act like that. It's really painful, I remember that happening to me, the 'look over there' while they hide, so I gave up and walked the other way.  It's tough you invested so much time into them, but seeing them for what they are now is an advantage, as you won't waste energy on them.

I tried hard to make friends at Uni, and did well for a few years before I lost them all to a meltdown they caused. So I know only too painfully how you feel, but I'm going to focus on the positives now. 

Trying to find others to speak to is tricky as they've had a head-start now, but you can do it. I remember over the time I was at Uni getting to know various people better each year, and opportunities to do things will come up, so just hang in there. 

You can use your course to your advantage -if there has been a new film out at the cinema, or if your not into going on your own (my husband can, I can't), then watch a classic, and then ask others if they've seen it. It will give you something to talk about. Ask their opinions is the important bit, it can be difficult if you get excited to not just end up monologuing, have opinions but keep checking in to see if they are still talking too. If they stop, best to stop too. (You might already be good at conversations, just take any advice you feel is relevant and ignore the rest.)

Because I was sensitive to how awful it feels to be left out, I tend to glance about and if someone else is looking but not in the 'talking circle', I try draw them in too to see what they think.  I think this is how it works if you want to get into a conversation, if people are talking about something you want to join in, try stand near and look interested -they might invite you to join in too.  I look for signs like people glancing or turning towards you and 'letting you in' to know if you can say something. This doesn't always work, I'm 41 and still find it difficult to know if I can join in conversations!

In the mean time, if you are on your own, bring something that you can do in public that could be a conversation point. So sit about reading a book is a good one, as you might get lucky and someone asks you about what your reading. It helps with the loneliness and is a way to be available to make friends if trying to join conversations is difficult, or you just need a break from it. If you have anything else quirky you could do, do that, or where an odd hat that people can comment on. This way you invite conversation to you, if seeking it out is hard. One thing to try avoid is being on your phone, as that is more of a closed off signal and people will not approach!

Hi Becky73 
You've had a very tough start to college, sometimes though it must still feel like High School when who you thought were friends act like that. It's really painful, I remember that happening to me, the 'look over there' while they hide, so I gave up and walked the other way.  It's tough you invested so much time into them, but seeing them for what they are now is an advantage, as you won't waste energy on them.

I tried hard to make friends at Uni, and did well for a few years before I lost them all to a meltdown they caused. So I know only too painfully how you feel, but I'm going to focus on the positives now. 

Trying to find others to speak to is tricky as they've had a head-start now, but you can do it. I remember over the time I was at Uni getting to know various people better each year, and opportunities to do things will come up, so just hang in there. 

You can use your course to your advantage -if there has been a new film out at the cinema, or if your not into going on your own (my husband can, I can't), then watch a classic, and then ask others if they've seen it. It will give you something to talk about. Ask their opinions is the important bit, it can be difficult if you get excited to not just end up monologuing, have opinions but keep checking in to see if they are still talking too. If they stop, best to stop too. (You might already be good at conversations, just take any advice you feel is relevant and ignore the rest.)

Because I was sensitive to how awful it feels to be left out, I tend to glance about and if someone else is looking but not in the 'talking circle', I try draw them in too to see what they think.  I think this is how it works if you want to get into a conversation, if people are talking about something you want to join in, try stand near and look interested -they might invite you to join in too.  I look for signs like people glancing or turning towards you and 'letting you in' to know if you can say something. This doesn't always work, I'm 41 and still find it difficult to know if I can join in conversations!

In the mean time, if you are on your own, bring something that you can do in public that could be a conversation point. So sit about reading a book is a good one, as you might get lucky and someone asks you about what your reading. It helps with the loneliness and is a way to be available to make friends if trying to join conversations is difficult, or you just need a break from it. If you have anything else quirky you could do, do that, or where an odd hat that people can comment on. This way you invite conversation to you, if seeking it out is hard. One thing to try avoid is being on your phone, as that is more of a closed off signal and people will not approach!