How do TV cooks stay so clean whilst cooking?

Even if I had an evening gown, as does Nigella, to cook in, it would be covered in flour, eggs and detritus by the time I'd finished. Jamie's jumpers never get a spec of cooking fat or lemon juice.  Gordon Ramsey looks as pristine as if he's in a surgical theatre. Even relaxed Nigel Slater looks as if he's just come out of the shower, even after chopping, frying and searing. So, why is my kitchen like a donkey's breakfast? Why is my apron smeared all the colours of the rainbow? Why is the floor covered in sesame and other seeds that get into cracks in the tiles where they rot as you can't get them out? And why, after all this hard work, am I not smiling, and most things never taste wonderful as apparently they do for every TV cook? 

Parents
  • I remember watching the Flloyd re-runs on Saturday morning kitchen, and he used to wipe his hands on his apron didn't he and get progressively more drunk as he cooked? 

    Do you also find it takes minimum twice as long to follow a recipe as the time it states? That is my biggest annoyance!

Reply
  • I remember watching the Flloyd re-runs on Saturday morning kitchen, and he used to wipe his hands on his apron didn't he and get progressively more drunk as he cooked? 

    Do you also find it takes minimum twice as long to follow a recipe as the time it states? That is my biggest annoyance!

Children
  • Keith Floyd did get drunker as the more he cooked.

    I think timing is about experience with a recipe, if you know what you're doing it's quicker than if you have to keep stopping to read the recipe. Also things like oven timings can be difficult as every oven's different, if you watch something like Bake Off, you'll see people making things they've practised being over or underbaked just because the oven's are diferent.

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    I think the most reliable recipes are those by Delia Smith, I've never had one of hers go wrong, I've had a couple I don't like, but thats down to personal taste as much as anything else.

    I know what you mean Marianne, I don't think a lot of these chefs are used to cooking in a normal kitchen without an army of other chefs doing all the prep and having really good stocks and stuff on hand. A stock can make or break a dish, especially something like risotto.