Hello! Im new!!

Hi Dee,

Just wanted to add to what other people have suggested by giving you the link to our new 'After diagnosis' booklet, which takes a closer look at what parents and adults on the spectrum can expect afterwards.

Here's the link -

http://www.autism.org.uk/afterdiagnosis

Oh and on the grinding issue Sue - you may want to check out our section on understanding behaviours to see if there's any advice there which can help.

Dear Dee

I have posted below a link to the Education Rights help line.  Give them a ring about the problems you are having with your school.  

http://www.autism.org.uk/Our-services/Advice-and-information-services/Education-rights-service.aspx

I do think that you need to take some time to come to terms with the diagnosis.  You  are probably going through a huge range of emotions (all at the same time!!) and you need to look after yourself as well because there is no use trying to sort things out if you are a mess yourself.  This is one of the best pieces of advice that I was given when my son got his diagnosis at the age of 11.  Don't deny yourself that little treat (vast amounts of chocolate in my case!) and try and get some time for yourself.  I find getting out of the house for a walk or a bike ride helps me put things in perspective (so if you see someone cycling along chomping on a big bar of chocolate you will know who it is!). 

With regard to your daughter, if you have any concerns about her then you should start with her GP.  There are so many different aspects of autism that we could all have some traits of it in us.  Every person with autism is unique which is what makes them so fantastic. 

My father was just like your mother when we got our diagnosis.  Give her time, let her have a look at this website.  My father is now so supportive.  He, like me, just had to get to grips with the diagnosis.  He has even taught my son to drive!

Having a diagnosis is not the end of the world, in fact it is a massive help in some respects.  There is no way that your son is going to end up as a sad lonely adult with no self esteem because you (and the rest of us on here) are not going to let that happen.  My son starts university in two weeks (now that is a truly scary thought) and we never thought he would survive a day at secondary school but he has done it. 

I hope you are feeling a bit more positive.  You will have good days and bad days but remember that we are all here to help you.

All the best 

ColintheCat xx

Thank you so much.  I never dreamed that I would find so much care and support.  It feels good knowing you are out there.  Thanks for the links and the info, everything helps.  It is just so nice to read something that DOESN'T say he is going to be a sad lonely adult with no self esteem.  He is such a lovely little lad.  I just want him to be happy, you know?

Hi Dee,

Sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time, Dee.  I have a 17 year old son who was assessed as having Aspergers only a few months ago.  We are still waiting for a formal diagnosis but don't expect to get it until about this time next year as there is such a waiting list. We have to wait until he is seen by Adult services.

My son and my immediate family welcomed the fact that he probably has Aspergers because it explains so much and it has certainly helped us understand his needs so much more.

Think your mum's reaction is very, very common. Some of my family still can't get their heads around Aspergers especially the older generation. There are some great books out there about Aspergers written by parents, professionals and Aspies.  Try googling benefits of having Aspergers too, you begin to see it in a completely different light!

Have been through some tough times in the last two years before we knew what was going on. Have often wondered how things would have been if we had known when he was much younger.  There are some great tips and suggestions on this site with lots of information.  Try looking at the education section for information about schools etc.

It might be worth calling the NAS helpline too and ask about support groups near to your area. I go to one near me they are great and they will know exactly what you are going through. 

Wish you the very best Dee.  Try to take one day at a time and do try to look after yourself in all of this as well. Might help to have a chat with Family Lives too. They have a Live Chat service as well as helpline and email.  familylives.org.uk/  They used to be called Parentline.

Thank you so much for that, I almost cried at your reply, I feel totally lost and overwhelmed at the moment.  I knew there was something different about my son but the diagnosis came as a shock.  I feel I am fighting all the time.  Fighting with the school who won't do anything for my little boy because he is extremely intelligent, way above the national average so they don't see he needs any help.  Fighting the attitude of my mother who is very close to my son and totally resistant to any diagnosis, "there is nothing wrong with him and I am cruel for trying to find problems". 

And there's my five year old daughter.  Is it known for two children in a family to have ASD?  I know it's less common in girls and she is different to her brother but still showing a lot of ASD type behaviour.  Again though, nobody will listen or assess her, they just put me on a parenting course.  What can I do?

Hello Dee

Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

I have posted a link below that might be of some help to you.  It provides some guidance about how to deal with a diagnosis and the impact on the family.  It can a difficult time but also a relief to get a diagnosis.

http://www.autism.org.uk/About-autism/All-about-diagnosis/Diagnosis-effect-on-the-family.aspx

If you have any questions please post them on the forum.  People here have lots of experience both from the point of view of a parent or carer of a child with autism but also from the point of view of a person with autism.

I hope that we can help you

ColintheCat 

Hi

Just been reading through peoples comments, my seven year old son was diagnosed with Aspberger Syndrome on Friday so I am just trying to find out more about it and find some people who have heard of it and understand!  I think my five year old daughter has it too but trying to even get her assessed is proving impossible.  I have now been put on a Parenting Course because I have asked for help with her behaviour.  I did the same course, voluntarily, when she was two years old... just feel that nobody is listening...

  Anyway... grinding the teeth struck a chord with me, the children don't do it but I have been through all sorts with ENT, physio, dentist, for months to be told apparently I grind my teeth and have never been aware of it before... I am to be issued with a bite guard on Wednesday! I don't have ASD but it seems suddenly all this stuff I know nothing about is being thrown at me, it was just nice to find a place where it was all mentioned in one place!

I don't know if grinding your teeth is more prevailant among ASD diagnosed people or not, but it strikes me that if you enquire on an ASD chat room you are likely to get responses from other subscribers who know people who have ASD who may just happen to grind their teeth too.  Best keep an open mind. 

My husband used to grind his teeth loads at night when he was anxious and my son used to at night.  Both have ASD.  My son has stopped doing it at night but went through a phase of doing it during the day.  He eventually stopped and started something else which I can't remember now but we go through many things such as nail biting, finger biting, pulling his eyelashes etc.  All of which I think are ways of coping with general anxiety and/or hyperactivity.

If it is during the day, you could try giving him a toy that he can fiddle with.  Perhaps with particular textures he likes.  Maybe a stretchy rubber insect for example or a small beanbag to hold in his hand.  Something he could keep in his hand.  You can get loads of ideas online under sensory toys. My son loves blu tac but he is 9 and you may be afraid of him putting it in his mouth.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Hi im 43 and female and i still grind my teeth during the day especially when im picking at the skin on my palms. Few years ago the dentist gave me a biteguard to put in my mouth to prevent me from grinding but i couldnt get on with it as it made me feel nauseous all the time! I know i grind when anxious too but am worried as my teeth are getting smaller and might end up with no teeth! Sorry this wasnt much help but you could ask at the dentist about a biteguard!

Its good to know that someone else's little one does it too!! My son sleeps really well at night, and doesnt seem to grind his teeth at night, more during the day! Initially we thought he did it when he was anxious about something, but now he seems to do it for no apparant reason! Hopefully its something he will grow out of, and the sooner the better!!!!

Sue x

Hi Sue ,

I dont know if its a trait of autism or not ..I have twins who are nearly 5 one has been diagnosed with adhd / autism ..he grinds his teeth quite badly but  he is a really bad sleeper anyways and my social work department have referred him to a sleep clinic ..my other twin who has not been diagnosed does not grind his teeth at all but he aslo sleeps very peacefully ..not much help there am i but its just good to talk and know that someone  else goes through the same stuff 

shirley x