So, this is what happened today
Just a headsup, No music from speaker all morning
- I sit down to eat my lunch in the room
- As I'm about to start eating, the speaker next to me (they haven't ever used it FYI, or they've moved it close to them before turning it on) is turned on and is blasting at max vol
- I suddenly start to twitch (this happens throughout the night FYI), my eyes roll back, and I start having difficulties breathing (starting off with holding my breath after breathing in, then out then hold and loop, then, few mins later, my breathing steadens, but Im breath in and out constantly switching without fully inhaling, (so less <1s inwards) and amongst other stuff happening I cant control) and other stuff potentially, but noone notices my distress as Im not convulsing as it's not that type.
- After I believe 10m, they turn down the music, being it over to them, my twitching stops a short while after
- Eventually, I get up and try to walk to the toilet, but I guess I'd call it a drunk walk
- I walk into the section, suddenly, someone screams right behind me, so I can barely walk, the drunk walk is worse,
- I soon go grab a pen as I haven't finished the mornings work, still drunk walking, suddenly, I'm given a massive boot in the leg, I can't remember the effect of it, (My tutor said I bumped into her, but I dont know as Im not mentally there as Im just focused trying to focus on walking) after walking past someone, they stopped right in front of me in the doorway like a douche (Not the word I wanna us, but keeping it safe for work IG)
- I try to go back to working, but I can't focus at all as I'm still wobbling side to side whilst I'm sitting
- Near the end of the time I'm in the building, I'm called names (I'm usually pretty resilient to words) like woman abuser/"you dont hit boys but you hit/grab (can't remember which was used) girls", amongst other women related terms & phrases which really made me feel so self conscious and kinda still do, but if they carry on on thrus with those insults, I will be mentioning ot to the tutor (Im working from home tomorrow), which Im scared to do due to trauma issues
Last time I was whatever the word is, by a bang, we had ? Ed (I know, but Im not sure if I can say the word here) and I was in a way, pinched out of my body, and my eyes where sensitive for the rest of the day until I went to sleep
This is just another thing I'll mention on Thurs when I meet someone from NWIAS to fill out a self referral form
