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Not sure what to do.

C

I feel really lost at the moment. I’m 29 next February and my life isn’t where I thought it would be. My brothers and sisters have all moved out and have jobs and their own families. These are all things I intended to happen for me but my life isn’t anything like that.
Thanks to the autism and anxiety I have no friends and I don’t work either and due to mental health problems in 2020 my sight is now poor and I’m physically disabled making things a lot harder than they were.

Every day is the same more less. I stay inside. I hardly see anybody and I spend my time doing the things I enjoy like writing, listening to music, watching stuff and playing with dolls...

I enjoy myself, I’m happy, but I feel like I’m just existing, not living. I’m not depressed. I left those times behind me in 2020 but I do feel lost and not sure on where to go from here.

Next month I’ll be donating Christmas presents to the children’s hospital nearby me. It’s become a bit of a tradition, something I enjoy and it’s something I always do since 2022. So I have that to look forward to. But after that into the New Year I’m not sure what to do other than my usual hobbies.

What do you do?

Do you work?

Study?

Just curious to know. Blush

Parents

  • Hi C,

    Hope you're doing ok today.

    Firstly, comparing yourself to your brothers and sisters probably isn't helpful. I got stuck in this hole around your age and then found my family role as the quirky aunty who has the time that my siblings don't. I'd have made a crap mother, I feel I've excelled in my aunty role.

    Work wise I've had periods where I've been able to work and periods where I've not. I used to get down on myself when not being able to work, push myself to work and then spectacularly crash. Now I only take on little projects which are self contained if I'm stable enough to see them through.

    As you seem excited about the Christmas present donation I wondered if volunteering for other things would help you find meaning. I also noticed you like to write. There's a lady in my town who does a community newsletter. There's a lot of volunteering that goes on in my town so she's never short of things to write about and lots of people find her emails incredibly helpful for keeping up with what's happening. Just an idea that could also give you purpose to go out in the community and an excuse to meet people, which is much less scarier when you have an agenda! 

    Or as you like to play with dolls I wonder if the hospital has need for a play volunteer. I'm sure children stuck on hospital wards would love someone coming in just to play with them. When I was a teenager, my friends mum worked on a children's ward and every Christmas we would go in and play with the kids for a couple of hours to give their parents downtime.

    Hope this is helpful

Reply

  • Hi C,

    Hope you're doing ok today.

    Firstly, comparing yourself to your brothers and sisters probably isn't helpful. I got stuck in this hole around your age and then found my family role as the quirky aunty who has the time that my siblings don't. I'd have made a crap mother, I feel I've excelled in my aunty role.

    Work wise I've had periods where I've been able to work and periods where I've not. I used to get down on myself when not being able to work, push myself to work and then spectacularly crash. Now I only take on little projects which are self contained if I'm stable enough to see them through.

    As you seem excited about the Christmas present donation I wondered if volunteering for other things would help you find meaning. I also noticed you like to write. There's a lady in my town who does a community newsletter. There's a lot of volunteering that goes on in my town so she's never short of things to write about and lots of people find her emails incredibly helpful for keeping up with what's happening. Just an idea that could also give you purpose to go out in the community and an excuse to meet people, which is much less scarier when you have an agenda! 

    Or as you like to play with dolls I wonder if the hospital has need for a play volunteer. I'm sure children stuck on hospital wards would love someone coming in just to play with them. When I was a teenager, my friends mum worked on a children's ward and every Christmas we would go in and play with the kids for a couple of hours to give their parents downtime.

    Hope this is helpful

Children
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