Can you clarify what you mean by misunderstandings? Do you mean the autistic person not understanding or the neurotypicals not understanding.
Oh the irony of this reply. Heh.
I think for child me? Absolutely.
I can vividly remember being very young and getting on a bus. It was a deisel, very loud engine, very smelly, very busy.
I had...a meltdown. It was a lot. My mum? (It was the 70s try not to judge lol) lost her cool. Children should be seen and not heard and here she had screaming taz pinned down across her knee. She did the thing that parents did back then. Smacked my backside to make me behave. Yowch. Screamed louder. She didnt understand I was different. I was naughty and difficult and needed discipline right?
That bus journey was horrific. The old ladies were all commenting what they would do if I was theirs. I still remember the judgement....and I still remember ZERO understanding or empathy or support for effectively a toddler that was overwhelmed and terrified with a stinging butt. My mum was mortified. I brought her shame. I think this kind of thing was a regular occurence that actually resulted in a mother/daughter bond not existing. My elder sister was not such hard work.
Kids learn quick and my life and relationships to people were shaped by incidences such as this. I always feel judged and always not enough. Core beliefs are difficult to shift.
Consequently I try never to judge other parents in this position. Its not helpful. To the parent but especially to the child who is a little sponge.
I dont know how a child who had understanding and love and support despite their differences, deals with life as an adult? Do they find reactions/disapproval from others less...hurtful? Maybe because on some level they feel safer inside to start with?
But then perhaps the same could be true for neurotypicals who didnt have well adjusted parents vs those who did?
Maybe its a self esteem thing rather than an autistic thing?
Can you clarify what you mean by misunderstandings? Do you mean the autistic person not understanding or the neurotypicals not understanding.
Oh the irony of this reply. Heh.
I think for child me? Absolutely.
I can vividly remember being very young and getting on a bus. It was a deisel, very loud engine, very smelly, very busy.
I had...a meltdown. It was a lot. My mum? (It was the 70s try not to judge lol) lost her cool. Children should be seen and not heard and here she had screaming taz pinned down across her knee. She did the thing that parents did back then. Smacked my backside to make me behave. Yowch. Screamed louder. She didnt understand I was different. I was naughty and difficult and needed discipline right?
That bus journey was horrific. The old ladies were all commenting what they would do if I was theirs. I still remember the judgement....and I still remember ZERO understanding or empathy or support for effectively a toddler that was overwhelmed and terrified with a stinging butt. My mum was mortified. I brought her shame. I think this kind of thing was a regular occurence that actually resulted in a mother/daughter bond not existing. My elder sister was not such hard work.
Kids learn quick and my life and relationships to people were shaped by incidences such as this. I always feel judged and always not enough. Core beliefs are difficult to shift.
Consequently I try never to judge other parents in this position. Its not helpful. To the parent but especially to the child who is a little sponge.
I dont know how a child who had understanding and love and support despite their differences, deals with life as an adult? Do they find reactions/disapproval from others less...hurtful? Maybe because on some level they feel safer inside to start with?
But then perhaps the same could be true for neurotypicals who didnt have well adjusted parents vs those who did?
Maybe its a self esteem thing rather than an autistic thing?
