• Replies 35 replies
  • Subscribers 40 subscribers
  • Views 1163 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Humour and Interpretation

Sporadic Sparkly

I am aware that communication issues tend to be a common problem for autists. Having been a member of this online community since 2022, I have witnessed plenty of misunderstandings and spats.

Earlier, I read a post on the forums that had caused me some amusement. My interpretation was that it wasn't intended to be a serious post. I felt compelled to respond, but part-way through typing my response, I started to have doubts.

Whilst typing my response, I realised that in addition to the post being in the Health & Wellbeing section, the member had used several tags that suggested their post was actually intended to be taken seriously.

I was faced with the dilemma of whether to post my response, or to completely abort. I chose to continue, but now I'm thinking that maybe it would have been better to abort.

For me, I consider humour and laughter to be essential to health and wellbeing. However, I'm also aware that there's a time and a place.

I'm curious to know if other members have found themselves in similar situations?

On one hand, I feel like this is the one place where I should be able to ditch the mask and be myself. On the other hand, I'm well aware of the need to be careful, as the last thing I want is to say something in jest that causes offence and/or distress to another member.

Parents

  • Written communication, without emojis, is quite open to misinterpretation. There are none of the other cues you get with verbal communication, tone, intonation, facial expression, body language, etc. There are often implicit assumptions which are not obvious, which make it easy to get the wrong end of the stick.

    Due to awkwardly misreading things on forums 20 years ago I learnt to just give straight answers. Humour always carries risk. Dry humour is more ambiguous.

    However, thoughtful straight answers can still go wrong if you've missed the point. I don't see a way around that.

    The best way, I believe, is for people to say what they think respectfully, but for people to also be brave enough to come back if it's a problem. Otherwise people self-censor so much nobody says anything. Reaction should be based on intent.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Even with the use of emojis, written communication can sometimes be open to misinterpretation. In the past, I have posted about situations I have found myself in, have included emojis, and done my best to articulate in a way that will hopefully make it obvious to anybody reading that I am not in a state of distress, and that I don't require advice. Admittedly, it's not happened often, but there have been occasions when I've received responses from members expressing sympathy and concern for me. This then causes me to feel bad, especially when I can see that the person has put a lot of time and effort into their response.

    Aside from being busy, one of the reasons why I'd been inactive here for much of this years is because I had reached the stage where I felt I was having to self-censor to an extent that wasn't healthy for me. Maybe I had become hyper-sensitive to events that had been kicking off here, or maybe my feeling of needing to self-censor to the point of saying nothing at all was a reflection and reaction to how a lot of people are feeling in general.

    Not everyone has the courage to speak up if they feel upset and/or offended. There have been occasions when I have taken offence at responses I've received here in the online community, but I've opted not to say anything. Sometimes out of fear that it could result in an unpleasant situation that nobody wants, and sometimes because I think life's too short and it's just not worth it.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly
    Sporadic Sparkly said:
    sometimes because I think life's too short and it's just not worth it

    This is an important part of dealing with life; knowing when to let go. You can be right but you don't always have to prove it. Other people may come round to your view if you just give them time.

    Keeping things in perspective can be hard, especially if you are on here (or elsewhere) because you are struggling. I am not immune.

    But some words of the internet are just ...  words on the internet. It is best to think that that most people mean well, even if it may not seem it, some are just thoughtless, few are malicious. What seems super important rapidly fades.

    Rumination doesn't really help, even though it is hard to avoid.

Reply
  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly
    Sporadic Sparkly said:
    sometimes because I think life's too short and it's just not worth it

    This is an important part of dealing with life; knowing when to let go. You can be right but you don't always have to prove it. Other people may come round to your view if you just give them time.

    Keeping things in perspective can be hard, especially if you are on here (or elsewhere) because you are struggling. I am not immune.

    But some words of the internet are just ...  words on the internet. It is best to think that that most people mean well, even if it may not seem it, some are just thoughtless, few are malicious. What seems super important rapidly fades.

    Rumination doesn't really help, even though it is hard to avoid.

Children
No Data