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Humour and Interpretation

Sporadic Sparkly

I am aware that communication issues tend to be a common problem for autists. Having been a member of this online community since 2022, I have witnessed plenty of misunderstandings and spats.

Earlier, I read a post on the forums that had caused me some amusement. My interpretation was that it wasn't intended to be a serious post. I felt compelled to respond, but part-way through typing my response, I started to have doubts.

Whilst typing my response, I realised that in addition to the post being in the Health & Wellbeing section, the member had used several tags that suggested their post was actually intended to be taken seriously.

I was faced with the dilemma of whether to post my response, or to completely abort. I chose to continue, but now I'm thinking that maybe it would have been better to abort.

For me, I consider humour and laughter to be essential to health and wellbeing. However, I'm also aware that there's a time and a place.

I'm curious to know if other members have found themselves in similar situations?

On one hand, I feel like this is the one place where I should be able to ditch the mask and be myself. On the other hand, I'm well aware of the need to be careful, as the last thing I want is to say something in jest that causes offence and/or distress to another member.

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  • I often find my humour is misinterpreted. In real life I don't change my tone of voice much I don't think and so sometimes people don't realise I'm joking. I also misjudge it sometimes and it doesn't come out the way it sounded in my head which can cause people to take it the wrong way. Ironically I also really struggle when other people use dead pan humour and don't give clues like tone of voice. You'd think I'd be able to pick up on my own humour style but no.

    I think online it can be even harder. There are no clues unless you use emojis or state that it is a joke.

    Pairing together the issue of literal thinking and online communication I think you're right to apply caution when using humour here. However, you absolutely should be able to be yourself on here. So I'd say use your humour (as long as it isn't anything too out there that could actually be offensive) just make sure others know you're joking. Either use an emoji or state that it's a joke. Just makes it more inclusive for everyone I think.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    My dad had a dry sense of humour, which was often accompanied with a completely deadpan facial expression. The only thing that gave the game away was that there would be a slight twinkle in his eyes. I think  growing up being accustomed to his dry sense of humour possibly made it easier for me to recognise and understand dry humour when it's used offline.

    Online, it can be a completely different ball game, unless one has established a rapport with a person and knows if they share a similar sense of humour. If the person doesn't understand humour at all, then even if one uses emojis and/or states that one is joking, there is still a possibility that they make take offence.

    There are members who may not understand what's so funny, but they accept other people do and don't take offence. It's the ones who do take offence that I worry about. It's not something I have experienced (yet), but it is something I have witnessed here in the past.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    I think as long as you've stated you're joking and the humour isn't about the individual or about a serious topic that could be upsetting then you have covered yourself. I think there's a risk people could take offense to anything. People have got to take some responsibility in understanding that their own autism may have stopped them understanding the joke. I tend to just ask when I don't understand a comment. 

    If it really worries you that someone will take offense then perhaps avoid using humour but as you said in your original post I don't think you should be stopped from being you. 

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  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    I think as long as you've stated you're joking and the humour isn't about the individual or about a serious topic that could be upsetting then you have covered yourself. I think there's a risk people could take offense to anything. People have got to take some responsibility in understanding that their own autism may have stopped them understanding the joke. I tend to just ask when I don't understand a comment. 

    If it really worries you that someone will take offense then perhaps avoid using humour but as you said in your original post I don't think you should be stopped from being you. 

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