Burnout pre/post diagnosis

Hi Octopus - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community.

There are plenty of other late-realised and/or late-diagnosed people here, so you're in good company.

The process of getting diagnosed can, itself, be exhausting and overwhelming. With or without that added stress, pressures at work can easily lead to autistic fatigue and burnout. Also, now that you have a better understanding of your autism-related difficulties, you are better placed to recognise them and make adjustments for yourself.

You might find these resources helpful. There are quite a few that seem relevant, but you can obviously work your way through them at your own pace. 

1. Post-diagnosis information:

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.

Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

I'll also mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

2. Fatigue and burnout

Alongside seeking support from your GP, you might find these NAS resources helpful:

NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

NAS Professional Practice - Understanding autistic burnout

There's also some great (free) advice here from Dr Megan Neff - a neurodivergent author (who's also a clinician and advocate):

Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

I also have this book of hers. It's very user-friendly, including lots of diagrams and worksheets:

The Autistic Burnout Workbook: Your Guide to Your Personal Recovery Plan

3. Employment

Finally, you might find the various resources here helpful, including in respect of requesting reasonable adjustments at work and decide who else to potentially tell:

NAS - Employment

As Stuart333 has said Octopus and going on what I have come to learn about late diagnosis and work related stress (yep me too!) what you're experiencing isn't unusual.

I would suggest carefully getting a bit of a hang on concepts of "burnout" and "meltdown" might be useful for you.  I would add a caveat that one can be pulled into the problem rather than the solution - especially since a whole lot of this sort of stuff is defined in terms of defect and pathology which can be a right old mire to get stuck in! 

Welcome to the Quality Street tin of autism diagnostic criteria....

My clever big sister, who is diabetic, has the amazing (but life saving) talent of taking sweets from the tin - looking at them - recollecting what they are like and putting them back uneaten!

Anyway if you do decide to unwrap one - maybe look at one "problem uncovered" at a time and then reframe it to that not being the problem - the problem is to find a solution if that makes sense?

I and perhaps others post diagnosis have trawled thro' chunks of experiences and had to reframe them from a reperspective of now knowing myself to be autistic.  I was/am in denial about that for a long time!!  

I have recently become aware of the topic of delayed emotional processing - which research suggested is commonly experienced with autism.

Delayed emotional processing in my experience separates one emotionally from the present - maybe a few hours, days or even years according to what research suggests.

I am coming to think that post diagnosis there is a bit of a dam burst of emotional processing to go thro'

So I wish calmer waters to you Octopus  and anyone else reading this (unless you like and are good at surfing that is!).

Autism is a lifelong condition - this is being in the game for the long haul - it does get easier :-)

Best Wishes

It's not uncommon. You're aren't struggling more, you're just aware of it more, it is psychological. It is a process of adaptation and acceptance.

You could keep pushing just as hard, but then you'll have the same issues.

Since you want to keep up at work, make some adjustments. Reduce or stop caffeine and alcohol. Take breaks if you can, at lunch at least try to get away to somewhere quiet or have a walk. Try not to take work super seriously, if you do. Do a reasonable job, but don't get overly stressed if there's a problem, other people don't. Ask for help if you need it. Use your leave wisely.

Try to get plans so you are in control as much as possible. Try not to juggle too many things, just focus on getting one thing done at a time, keep a note so you can remind yourself and see progress, take 5 or 10 mins between tasks to feel good and relax. 

At home try to get enough sleep. Do some mild exercise like a walk. Don't go crazy at the gym, it stresses the body. Try to eat a balanced diet with fewer carbs, but still have some.

The weather has cooled which is good, but daylight is reducing so consider vitamin D tablets. Christmas is also approaching which is stress, so maybe plan ahead and make it manageable.

Try to relax when you can, even lie on the bed for a while when you get home. Don't feel guilty. 

It takes time to de-stress and adjust. It may be months, but don't view it as insurmountable, just make little steps each day. If you are reframing the past, this can be hard and will have ups and downs. Day to day may be hard but month to month will get better. It can help a lot to write things as you think of them, then to help build a story and get things straight in your head. Don't obsess, though you probably will. Be aware there will come a time when you need to draw a line under the past. Then you move forward with your adjustments.

Be aware it is a continuous process. There may be some trial and error to find what helps. This may also change over time. While you may like routines consider if you need some new ones and whether all the old ones are actually serving you.

Good luck.