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Help make me feel better

190E(Taylor’s version)

So as previously explained my relationship is over officualy but had Basicly been since 2 months ago I feel really sad about it but it’s getting in a bad place she isn’t really understanding of my autistic needs despite being the one who identified them im getting told I need to calm down when I’m mid meltodwn etc it’s not good

so it hurts a lot that this person I loved more than any one made me feel like this I say I hate her but really I don’t and it’s not even that I love her it’s I dunno not indifrence but I hate who she is about my autism and I love the memories of who she was before all this

bit that said I feel ready for some proper understanding companionship but I feel A like im betraying her by looking to possibly date and b like people will judge 

im on a few apps and ive found very few people that ive thought I would like to get to know there was one who’s super locale but it comes with too many complications despite the fact that looks wise she’s my type and we have things in common 

how do I go abour all this I dotn want a full on relationship yet but I want a close friend and companion to see where it leads in the future so kind of a friend who would be intrested in seeking a romantic relationship when the time feels right 

I feel so confused right now becuase part of me is so upset but another is so excited at what my future might hold 

there is also someone local who I find attractive and we get on so well but we are such good friends I don’t wnat to even risk that ever 

gah my head is just so mixed emotions 

what I don’t want is this cycle of let’s give things another go becuase if we keep on like this we will drift apart and we’ve been through so much and I will be honest rhe good times out weigh the bad but the bad have just got too mich to take 

  • in reply to Iain

    I think what I need right now is a friend but non of my friends who I have now can provide rhe support i need theyre either Mutueral friends or just friends who bind over a game or what not 

    i cant say ive fully had a friend thats there for emotional support apart from ones ive worked with but work friends being friend friends is something I’ve struggled with 

    but at the same time I don’t want to either end up being seen only as a friend to anyone of the opposite sex forever and j Dont want to forever nkt feel ready to move past friends with someone 

    i think wirh my autism change stays with me in a negative way regardless thats the issue 

    i think sun41 summed up my situation well “I can’t sit back and wonder why it took so long for this to die and I hate jt when you fake it so you might as well embrace it belive me it’s not wasy but something is telling me im in too deep and im try a keeep up above in my head instead of going under”

  • 190E(Taylor’s version) said:
    I feel ready for some proper understanding companionship but I feel A like im betraying her by looking to possibly date and b like people will judge

    Reading this makes me think you are a long way from being ready to go into another relationship, even a casual one as you are carrying a load of emotional baggage which will probably make you a bit of a negative Nelly in the having fun stakes.

    I would think you need to process the loss and hurt you have experienced here before you should think of looking for someone new.

    Have a look at: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-get-over-a-breakup

    You need to take control of your own wellbeing and make yourself feel better - that would be my recommendation,

    Breakups suck but you get over them eventually. Make the effort and trust the process.

    For looking at things to give hope, count your blessings - health, family, talent etc.