Warning this might be Triggering, so i do apologies before hand but i need to Rant about this! and let it out and maybe need people to help me control my Ego a little e.g put my Ego on a lease again/bring me back down to Earth.
Throughout my whole life 37 years, I've always thought of myself as a "dumb R*word" because of the way no-one could understand me and the way people treated me, ( since in this world if someone can't understand someone else the first and only conclusion normal people seem to come up with is that person must be dumb! ) - but for me when i don't understand someone or something i call myself dumb and TRY to understand.
but recently i go into trying to solve a unsolved Math problem ( Magic square of squares ) which has been around more then 250 years - and ended up finding a pattern no-one in human history has found! e.g I'm the first human in existence to find it! yet i have ZERO education and 99% self taught. ( post links to proof on request )
This has made me lose control of my Ego a little i must admit and made me big headed! but it's a nice feeling from thinking of myself most of my life as a dumb useless person.
Regards to the title, education, I've been demeaned by many people in my life because since they have a education and i don't i must be the dumb one! yet i did something in Maths people with A-levels and above couldn't do! which re-enforced my point that educations/knowledge MEANS nothing if you don't have any intellect e.g you can remember and regurgitate everything like AI dose but dose not mean you have self-awareness or Intelligence like a AI currently doesn't. thought a combination of both is good!
I also remember at a Club 7/8 years ago talking about deep mind alpha go/Alpha Zero saying AI could do anything if it could Play Go/Chess like it did! but i was told i know nothing and demeaned because i had no educations nor did i know how to program back then so like a uneducated person like myself could never understand! and i believed them and did nothing! but many years later AI LLM chat bots were released and did exactly what i thought they could do with my past logic! so it ended up i was right all along.... but it still hurts that if someone could understand me understand what i meant i could of been noticed and worth something! and I'm not going to doubt my logic anymore! not from people who are so limited! and it's caused me to have little to no respect for people with Educations alone. since education alone means NOTHING it needs intellect and understanding to go along with it to be worth something.
maybe i was just lucky being right with AI and finding a new pattern in unsolved math puzzle, but how many times do i need to be lucky till it's not longer seen as luck?
i still doubt myself everyday, even on everything i said above...
sorry again if this comes across really bad! - but it still hurts down to my core.
