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Meeting more Autistic people my age.

HighToryPsychic

Hello. I am 32. I recently came to understand I am autistic and I am still trying to figure it out. 

I don't have many friends, just one who is also autistic. But I have a therapist and a personal trainer who are autistic which has been a massive help. However I have to pay to see them and can't form a friendship with them outside of that. I also want to know more people my age too which is important for me. I have very little social experience and struggling getting to know new people. I also don't like groups of people, so I like one on one interactions. 

I do seem to find it much easier to connect with other autistic people too. I just want to make a proper friend who I feel I can just ring anytime and chat or whatever. I have never had that sort of friendship since I left school. 

So is there any resources or groups anyone knows which supports people in my situation. It would have been much easier in my early 20's I think to find stuff.  

  • I just joined today. took an exam yesterday and there were autistic traits. if someone can refer me to some test, that would be helpful. I don’t like big groups either just wanna do some research

  • I just joined the community today. I took one test and I had autistic traits but I guess I’ll do more research. If anyone has some tests you can refer me to. Social interaction concerns as well. I’m better one on one too. 

  • I got diagnosed earlier this year at 38. I have zero friends. It seemed very much like people only liked me for so long, the more I lost (some I lost in some cruel ways) the more I withdrew. But I completely get what you mean, sometimes I wish I had someone i could message everyday, someone that would be as excited as I do about certain things.

  • in reply to Experiment626
    Experiment626 said:
    Is there private chats on here?

    Yes - see under "Private Messages and Friends" here:

    NAS - Online Community Instructions

  • in reply to HighToryPsychic

    Oh wow! didn't know there was wheelchair rugby, that's awesome! I'm curious how u play rugby, is that in a court as well? Due to accessibility needs

    Oh interesting that you can't hear high frequencies, I can hear most high frequenciesis but struggle with low frequencies. Is being particularly deaf due to cerebal palsy or had that from birth? 

    Is there private chats on here? cos I'm new to this site, would be awesome to chat more with you privately :) 

  • I got diagnosed 3 months ago at the same age so in a similar boat.  

  • in reply to Experiment626

    Great thank you. I also have cerebral palsy too. I am partially deaf myself in the higher frequencies. I am in the same place too, figuring it out. I play wheelchair rugby which is my main social outlet. I would love to chat. 

  • Hello I'm happy to talk to you, I'm 33yrs old & Deaf, I'm recently diagnosed & figuring it out. Would be nice to connect to another autistic person as I don't have anyone I know that are autistic themselves.

    wish I knew resources as well. I dont have many friends as well. 

  • Dear HighToryPsychic,

    Welcome to the online community! I can see you have already had some great responses. 

    I hope the online community helps be a resource that can help you feel connection with other autistic people. Bunny has given some great signposts, and it really could be beneficial to take a look at our Autism Services Directory - to use this you just put in your postcode and a keyword to find resources available in your local area. There is also an option to use it with your postcode and one of our set responses, such as leisure activities or support groups. 

    Best Wishes,

    Olivia Mod

  • HighToryPsychic said:
    I just want to make a proper friend who I feel I can just ring anytime and chat or whatever. I have never had that sort of friendship since I left school.

    I sometimes ask myself if that is what I want, too, or if is just another form of camouflage to make me appear more "normal". I don't have an answer other than, "It's complicated."

  • Hello 

    I am now 59; diagnosed about 12 years ago at the end of a very bad mental breakdown. I was actually diagnosed with aspergers. I have struggled throughout life with great confusion, anxiety and repression,  and I realise now that I have found it very difficult to make and/or keep 'friends'. I have been out of work for just over 3 years and I am having difficulty finding work In the past few months  I started volunteering work for 4 hours a week which I have found rewarding. 

    I would like to talk or communicate with some people and/or experts in regard of the condition. I would hope that it will help me into employment.

  • Hi and welcome to the community! Wave

    Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for us to feel lonely and isolated. 

    You might find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

    NAS - Loneliness - includes links to other examples of autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    You might like to consider asking your GP to refer you to your local social prescriber. I've had a course of appointments with ours, which I found very helpful. 

    Their role is to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your social needs, as well as your practical and emotional needs. This could definitely include helping you to find friends - including doing research on your behalf, if they're not yet aware of any socialising opportunities that would meet your goals.

    The article below explains more (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local NAS branch:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    NAS - Branches

    As a final suggestion, you could search on Facebook and/or Google for any local groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.

  • I only received my diagnosis late last year at the age of 53 and it's been a bit of a steep learning curve.

    Over the last six months or so, it has really hit me just how isolated I am. I'm not really bothered if people share my ND nature or not as I'm not really "out".

    I've joined a couple of clubs (cycling and hiking), they are more activities with other people attached, I also went to a ND group (wasn't my thing really). 

    I go to Andys mans club and I feel that I've found some sort of connection.

    I also speak to a psychologist that has helped me to understand my differences.

  • Hello and welcome what are your special interests ? 

    I'm 37, and also looking for friends with common interests to me - https://community.autism.org.uk/f/miscellaneous-and-chat/43520/what-are-your-special-interests my interests are in this post - if we have some in common it will be nice to chat more! also i don't like going out much.