Experiences of those who lived without diagnosis for some time

Hi :) I only recently had a formal diagnosis. It felt very liberating in terms of my identity, Lots of things started to make sense very quickly. I wanted to understand the experiences of other people with autism, as I am at this difficult crossroads where who I reveal this too is a bit of a minefield. To me it doesn't change anything but I feel like it might affect my career or relationships. Other peoples lack of understanding or willingness to engage with me is what worries me the most, as its kind of what I have been dealing with the first 45 years of my life up until now. Trying to sustain a job with all of the added difficulties, whilst having to feel somewhat inadequate internally for these, is ridiculous. Don't feel obliged to share anything personal, but your experiences and tips would be welcome as the last few weeks have been a bit of an emotional rollercoster.

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  • I am pushing 68 and retired. My working live has been a series of disasters. So to has my social life. 43 years ago I was extremely lucky to meet a wonderful young woman who fell in love with me without reservation and has stuck to my side like a limpet. Between the two of us we were a whole that stood firm like a rock in a raging torrent. That was until three years ago when she was diagnosed with very early onset vascular dementia. I am now a widow in all but legal sense. A couple of years ago I met a teacher who told me I am ADHD and probably Autistic. I am presently seeking an Autism assessment to help negotiate the rest of my life. I have suffered a number of discriminatory events that were caused by my not behaving the same as the rest of the population. 

    I do not offer advice, but for me it is a matter of understanding myself. And learning how to negotiate social rules and get on with all those funny people who in reality are quite boring. If I had understood myself better when I was working I might have been able to avoid some of the mistakes I have made. 

    Please do not feel inadequate for your condition. Us Autistics often see the world in a different way. I am the little boy who says, Mummy, why has the king got no clothes on? No mummy, he is stark naked. Seeing the world clearly is difficult unless you can find ways of saying what you need to without upsetting people so they stop listening. 

    Keep posting

          

  • My working live has been a series of disasters.
    If I had understood myself better when I was working I might have been able to avoid some of the mistakes I have made. 

    Me too. Retiring was the best thing that happened to me. Very sad about your wife - but what wonderful memories you must have.

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