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Experiences of those who lived without diagnosis for some time

pietro_21

Hi :) I only recently had a formal diagnosis. It felt very liberating in terms of my identity, Lots of things started to make sense very quickly. I wanted to understand the experiences of other people with autism, as I am at this difficult crossroads where who I reveal this too is a bit of a minefield. To me it doesn't change anything but I feel like it might affect my career or relationships. Other peoples lack of understanding or willingness to engage with me is what worries me the most, as its kind of what I have been dealing with the first 45 years of my life up until now. Trying to sustain a job with all of the added difficulties, whilst having to feel somewhat inadequate internally for these, is ridiculous. Don't feel obliged to share anything personal, but your experiences and tips would be welcome as the last few weeks have been a bit of an emotional rollercoster.

Parents
  • pietro_21 said:
    I am at this difficult crossroads where who I reveal this too is a bit of a minefield.

    For me revealing my diagnosis to my wife led to divorce after 24 years of marriage as she could not get her head around living with someone who was "mentaly ill". 

    In spite of a huge amount of experience of living with me and knowing me, I became tainted once I had the label of mentally disabled.

    Work also sidelined me quickly as they were reluctant to have a someone with autism in a customer facing role (they had lots of very high profile visitors where I used to hep them with the complicated audio visual meeting systems), changed me to be a consultant rather than permie and 2 years later ended the contract in favour of someone else.

    I don't believe my behaviour changed post diagnosis but others perception of me did - I was seen as potentially problematic in spite of having a blemish free track record.

    Family were not interested in spite of the fact I see the ND traits in many of them - again it is stigmatised so much they would rather sideline me than accept it.

    Others have reported more accepting people but it is not my experience.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks Iain, yes this (stigma) is what I meant. the societal understanding is outmoded. I see traits in familiar members too, fortunately one siblings is diognosed with ADHD and very open minded to this. Workplaces need more than general policies for recruitment/HR but also need to better educate staff and only recruit Ab on the basis that they accept they will need to work with everyone. So often it is people trying to make the workplace their own.

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  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks Iain, yes this (stigma) is what I meant. the societal understanding is outmoded. I see traits in familiar members too, fortunately one siblings is diognosed with ADHD and very open minded to this. Workplaces need more than general policies for recruitment/HR but also need to better educate staff and only recruit Ab on the basis that they accept they will need to work with everyone. So often it is people trying to make the workplace their own.

Children
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