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Worried about the future?

Coogybear

I've become increasing aware lately that i'm really bad at research. My sons end college for the Summer Holidays in a few days, which i'm looking forward to, but i don't know what to suggest or how to steer them. One definitely will go back in Sept, but the other is undecided, both have high function ASD and co-occurring learning difficulties.

The lad that's going back in Sept wants to chill this Summer and frankly, i'm ok with that. He's been really ill with stress related illness due to College and his anxiety, so i'm hoping the alleviation of not having to study will give him some relief.
The other wants to work part time, but only for someone he knows, which limits him somewhat. (The need for familiarity is is part of his condition.) Up to now, he has done some voluntary work, but has become disheartened with the slave labour attitude of the people he's volunteered for.

I've been reading about many on the spectrum working for themselves, because of of the prejudice most face in the work market, but given his level of understanding and learning difficulties, he would definitely need a mentor. Does anyone have any experience of this? Do you know anyone on the spectrum who works for themselves and has a mentor?
If so where do you find one?
He wants me to help him, but frankly i'm struggling myself both mentally and physically and I just can't take that on, plus his daily support etc.

I'm at a loss to know what to do or whether he will cope. He did a Full time work trial for a week earlier in the year and just couldn't cope, despite him saying work was what he wanted to do. He's dead against apprenticeships because of the study element (He's also had an awful year in College with absolutely no support despite having an LDA. This experience has pretty much scared him for life.)

I want to support him in his dreams. I believe he has a right to live his life as he chooses, but i'm just so lost. I don't want him written off as unable to work either, but i'm trying to give him choices that are managable.

Please advise. Feeling a little useless.

Kind regards

CoogyBear 

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    That's an order!

    Seriously though, CoogyBear, I hope you can take a step back, try and see that the best way forward is to de-stress all of your lives. Enjoy the summer and give yourselves a break.

    Working for yourself is not to be done lightly. I've done both and there are stresses that it introduces as well as stresses that it removes.

    If you work for someone else you are likely to get more structure, someone else will find the jobs for you, someone will provide all of the tools, workplace etc etc. You will also have a more social life with workmates.

    Working for yourself with ASD can be great according to some posts I have read. You will be able to get on on your own and won't have management on your back.

    For most people I suspect that being employed is the best option if you can find the right employer that values the reliability and honesty and integrity that comes with the ASD package.

    I'm struggling with my employer at the moment and will probably move on and find a less hostile company to work for. Better companies DO exist - I have worked for much better companies in the past (as well as some rubbish ones!)

    "Education, education, education" is bunk! If it is too stressful then it may not be worth the piece of paper at the end of it.

    You're NOT useless, you care deeply about your children. Cherish them for what they are, encourage them to do what they CAN do. Don't stop the dreams but keep your feet on the ground and take one step at a time.

    Best Wishes