• Replies 9 replies
  • Subscribers 33 subscribers
  • Views 412 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Diagnosis confusion

Take5

Just wanted to ask if anyone is willing to share their experiences post diagnosis of autism? 
It’s been 5 days since it was confirmed for me and 8 days since my assessment. I’m now obsessed with gathering information about people post diagnosis experiencing doubt and trying to play down your own challenges? I was told the outcome on Thursday because of the terrible state I was in and that there was no doubt as they put it, why am I beating myself up like this. Although I am relieved to hear I’m neurodivergent my mind is all over the place and I’m unable to make sense of it all. I’m creating stories in my head about people’s reactions and overthinking what they will think of me. I wish I didn’t care but I obviously do. I’m actually getting on my own nerves now with these ongoing repetitive thoughts.

My wife doesn’t even know yet as I have gone through this process alone. Although I’m told I can be a little strange and not very sociable (among many other things) she flatly refused to talk about it a few years ago. She invalidates me constantly and for that reason I have not shared that I was even having an assessment. 

I feel really stuck and I’m unsure where I go from here, I understand it is very early days and this may take quite some time but it’s tough atm.

Thank you for listening 

Take5

Parents
  • Take5 said:


    I feel really stuck and I’m unsure where I go from here

    I found it helped to look at it as understanding a fact about yourself, just like knowing your blood group or your IQ.

    It doesn't change anything but it does give you power now you know what it is.

    From the assessment I would expect them to have highlighted your main autistic traits so I would focus on learning about these rather than the huge range of research on neurodivergence. Treat it a bit like damage control where you work out what is causing you pain or problems then understand it to the point where you have positive techniques to use to mitigate the issue.

    For example if you struggle with eating foods that are not beige (a surprisingly common autistic issue) then don't stress about it. Find healthy options that meet your constraints and improve your diet this way.

    Do you struggle with stress / anxiety from social situations? Cut these down to a level you can cope with and spend a little time learning about the unspoken rules of socialisiation to help you read the room better and interact in ways that others expect. Small things that reduce the social mistakes and reduce stress.

    Lastly and most importantly I would recommend getting a psycotherapist with a good track record of helping autists and plan on 10-20 sessions with them over the next year. It will be around £50 a session so won't be cheap, but they can help in so many ways that makes them worth it.

    They will help you develop coping techniques for things you struggle with, can help you connect to emotions, can help you unpack old trauma that is still haunting you (you most likely will have this but don't realise) and can help answer questions you may be afraid to ask anyone else.

    That would be how I would deal with this, so feel free to consider or ignore it as you feel appropriate.

Reply
  • Take5 said:


    I feel really stuck and I’m unsure where I go from here

    I found it helped to look at it as understanding a fact about yourself, just like knowing your blood group or your IQ.

    It doesn't change anything but it does give you power now you know what it is.

    From the assessment I would expect them to have highlighted your main autistic traits so I would focus on learning about these rather than the huge range of research on neurodivergence. Treat it a bit like damage control where you work out what is causing you pain or problems then understand it to the point where you have positive techniques to use to mitigate the issue.

    For example if you struggle with eating foods that are not beige (a surprisingly common autistic issue) then don't stress about it. Find healthy options that meet your constraints and improve your diet this way.

    Do you struggle with stress / anxiety from social situations? Cut these down to a level you can cope with and spend a little time learning about the unspoken rules of socialisiation to help you read the room better and interact in ways that others expect. Small things that reduce the social mistakes and reduce stress.

    Lastly and most importantly I would recommend getting a psycotherapist with a good track record of helping autists and plan on 10-20 sessions with them over the next year. It will be around £50 a session so won't be cheap, but they can help in so many ways that makes them worth it.

    They will help you develop coping techniques for things you struggle with, can help you connect to emotions, can help you unpack old trauma that is still haunting you (you most likely will have this but don't realise) and can help answer questions you may be afraid to ask anyone else.

    That would be how I would deal with this, so feel free to consider or ignore it as you feel appropriate.

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you for your reply. 
    I already have a therapist who is great and even prior to diagnosis she has been helpful in giving me some coping strategies, she has helped me to identify lots of issues as to why I have and continue to struggle.
    Social anxiety is the biggest thing I find challenging as well as keeping in touch and maintaining relationships. As I mentioned there is a huge communication problem between me and my partner which results in being bullied and controlled to some extent. A long time ago I may have considered couples counselling but this is no longer an option for me and I’m pretty sure we would be wasting both of our time as my partner refuses to see I struggle. I believe the way the relationship is suits her is okay as it is. I appreciate your perspective and agree I must jgive it more time and keep learning as much as I can. Think I e just masked for that long and been agreeable for that long that I have lost who I am and that’s hard for others to grasp. 

    Thank you once again 

    Take5