Recently diagnosed with Autism at 67

notnormal said:

I was flabbergasted when I received the diagnosis.  I always believed the Autism stigmas.  How could I survive 67 years and then be given this diagnosis?

Dear notnormal, welcome to our community.

There are many of us here who; later in our careers, or in our older adulthood: receive confirmation that we are Autistic (whether formally diagnosed, or self-identified / self-realised). 

You will often hear how many of us masked our way through our navigation and survival of earlier years and life experience (maybe, following a slightly differently experienced path to those around us at the time).

What many people acknowledge - is how additionally exhausting that masking / performance / outside the home role is / may have been over the years. 

Many adults use their diagnosis as an opportunity to explore - e.g. could masking less ease our future years navigation of our more challenging people, situations and settings? 

Discovering more around which aspects of our own Autism presentation we personally might find hard work, plus learning to appreciate, celebrate and play to our strengths through our Autism are two facets of us - just being ourselves - and yet potentially learning some ways of better supporting ourselves in different situations and settings.

Some people find that their diagnosis can feel both a puzzle and an education (or a relief / revelation). 

For many people - it can just all seem rather confusing and slowing the discovery pace down a little - to their own personal pace, no rush and no comparison with other people - is what serves them best.

There is no one correct way to feel, or reason, or timeframe about the understanding that, previously unknown to them, there are an Autistic person.

For some, it can bring a period of turmoil, or an aspect of imposter syndrome - as they acclimatise to the news and work their way through what their diagnosis may offer them e.g. a renewed understanding of prior challenges and maybe some insight into refreshed techniques which may better support the ambitions, enjoyment and path forwards.

You may observe some of us here refer to ourselves (with each of compassion, fellowship and an honorific badge of achievement) as: "latelings". 

We are those late, or very late, diagnosed / identified Autistic folk.

We may seem something of a conundrum to others around us ... however, we exist - and it is nobody's fault that the rest of society may take time to catch up adequately to our reality and experiences of life.

Our age groups at diagnosis/ identification are a mark of our resilience to date - albeit, sometimes hard won. 

It is not written in stone (nobody makes the rules over ourselves) that we must persevere in isolation. 

Education, advocacy and solidarity through shared lived experience may assist us in prevailing, with sobe reasonable adjustments, henceforth.

Personally speaking; I have been finding that a rolling snowball style effect - through experimenting with and then adopting the layering in of many minor tweaks to how I go about things has been more rewarding (and sustainable to the point of helpful habit adoption) than trying to implement larger, sweeping changes you might see touted in a research paper or article.

One small example: I hadn't fully appreciated (before diagnosis) why I arrive at a sociable event feeling exhausted before I have even stepped into the venue. 

For me, the exhaustion is connected to the mere transition between "travelling" and "arrived". 

I feel sure there is something about my version of social anxiety and anticipation wrapped up in there, somewhere, too! 

I read around guidance on this topic aimed at desperate age groups - I am not too proud to take a hint from what can aid toddlers etc  - then devised my age adapted edition of an adjustment. 

Now, if traveling via public transport: I take a slightly earlier option, having researched a place near the venue to sit and unwind from the bus etc. hostility - just for some minutes over a coffee - before joining the fray at my intended event.

If arriving via walking, or by car, I adjust my plans to arrive some 10's of minutes earlier than required - using a folding stool from my rucksack, or a folding deckchair from the boot of the car.

The idea being - to just sit a while, somewhere out of the hubbub to: settle down / read some pages of a book / listen to a podcast / quiet my mind by fidget time with some portable item I enjoy / drink from my water bottle or coffee flask - just long enough to somehow feel that I have arrived, on my own terms, afforded myself a bit of space to acclimatise ... hopefully, so that when I join the intended event I will be in a better frame of mind / body to navigate the onslaught of input likely to ensue.

The same applies to playing to our strengths - finding out a bit more, informed by the realisation of our newly cleaned Autism lens, and thinking about - what other similar feature things might we enjoy - serious, or seemingly silly, it matters not a jot what others may think - to which we may not have previously given much consideration ourselves?

"Age appropriate" be banned ...if you discover e.g. that a noodle silicone stress ball is fun?  ...get yourself a mini keyring version and appreciate the seemingly inconsequential thing - every time you pick up your house keys / car key / bicycle lock key / allotment shed padlock key / tuckshop-style "secret snack box" key (yes, it merely looks like a metal cash box to the untutored roving eye of younger friends / neighbours / colleagues / relatives - and yet, the contents are distinctly your own got-the-munchies business):

https://www.argos.co.uk/product/9297010

(...the secret is safe with us here, ...indeed, yes, seemingly daft things can be delightful too, ...feed the spirit too - not just mind and body).

Whatever you find meaningful in you own world, now is the time to take up the pursuit and capitalise on understanding more about why your experience of your world may be so.  Enjoy the journey.

Thank you for articulating the experiences of us lately, newly-diagnosed.

Thank you for articulating the experiences of us lately, newly-diagnosed.