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Sister wants to show me around her new house.

Quirkz

Hope it’s okay for me to post, nice to meet you all.

My sister bought a new house around a month ago, (she has just got divorced).

Pretty much since she got the keys my family have been asking me when I’m going to see it and I said I’m not that fussed about it, especially when there’s no furniture in it?

I kept saying that as my response and now there’s furniture in it my sister has asked if I would like to see it again, even though there’s no floor.

Why is everyone asking me constantly about seeing a house I’m never going to live in or barely go to? I’m so confused. Am I missing something?

When I was younger I moved house a lot and I find it very unsettling, could it be related to this?

My family says it’s unusual for people not to want to look round a new house - but it’s not mine?

Any advice welcome. Thanks!

Parents

  • Sometimes, when people have experienced going through a divorce, they are then keen to establish, (or reinforce):

    - who is now their friend / supports and loves them,

    - who is definitely welcome and trusted in their new home - as they helpto make them feel comfortable, confident and valued,

    - who they want to know that their own support / love / trust is also available in return.

    It might not be actually all about the house, the furnishings, and the surroundings. 

    More so, it might be about both helping your Sister to see, feel and know; that the people important to her are celebrating with her - as she establishes her new way of life, plus your Sister might realise the divorce has been a big, stressful, life change for everyone she knows (and she wants to show you - by her hospitality in her new home - that you are really welcome in her new home and lifestyle - that you are an important person to her).  

    It is perhaps also: a chance for everyone to relax a little following the divorce - and use visiting your Sister's new home as an opportunity to start building some new, happy, memories together.

    I do understand what you mean - moving house a lot when younger being unsettling. 

    Try not to worry too much if there is not much furniture yet and no flooring so far. 

    Maybe, sharing a drink and a snack (even just on a cardboard box for "a table") during a conversation with your Sister is enough.

    Perhaps, instead of a "new home" congratulations greeting card, or a little housewarming gift - you might instead like to try taking with you a notebook and pencil - and encourage your Sister to show you a diagram about some of her future hopes / plans for her new home? 

    Your Sister might be excited to share her ideas about her new home. 

    It could be a way to share your Sister's enthusiasm and show an interest in her next adventure in setting up her new home and finding her way in her new life after the divorce.

    Sometimes, people just value some company with somebody trusted and respected when they are planning, or wondering, about such things.

    Setting up a new home is not a quick process. 

    Everything hoped for cannot usually happen all at once. 

    Some things wanted will take time to find, others require budgeting and saving up for, yet more things will need more thought - particularly following the upheaval of a big life event such as a divorce.

    However, it does sound like your Sister values your involvement in sharing this new phase of her life. 

    It is an honour to be welcomed into someone's new home following their divorce.

    It might be much more important to your Sister (than people may realise): that you might become comfortable to visit her in her new home.

    I hope those thoughts are helpful.

  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thank you so much, really helpful suggestions and thoughts - appreciate you! Slight smile

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