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The Friendship Mystery

Eryberrie

Hello!

It is hurtful when you try and be friends with someone and it doesn't work. Or, you become friends and then it stops or that person seems distant and you can't read them. I'm 30 and I still have that problem.

Are there rules that you should follow?  Shouldn't it be about following instincts, feelings, etc?  I suppose my problem is that I cannot find the 'middle ground' and that I give all or nothing when I find a friend.

Does anyone else have this problem? Seriously, human nature is the hardest thing to fathom.

Thanks

E

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  • Hi Eryberrie, I just started posting in the forums.

    I understand completely what you mean! Friendships never stick with me and I find myself constantly observing people who are speaking to each other like "how do they do that?" or "why is that conversation even happening?" Undecided.

    This might be different to what your saying but, my problem is I try the 'small talk' tactics, speaking to others with those basic conversation starters, but although another person may reply I feel like I have gone absolutely nowhere in my association with that person. I just don't seem to get any 'connection' with people and do not feel interested in being friends even though I try to. It feels like the first time meeting someone all over again each time I go to the same place so I get anxiety problems. 


    I honestly can't answer about there being any rules as to how to make a friendship or keep one going.  If they are distant and you can't read them, try not to assume the worse in that they don't want to be friends with you anymore. I guess maybe try to carry on communicating with them as you did before (if you feel comfortable with it!).

    I completely agree it should be about following your feelings. Sorry, I can't really answer properly, I canny understand the friendship thing either...  

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  • Hi Eryberrie, I just started posting in the forums.

    I understand completely what you mean! Friendships never stick with me and I find myself constantly observing people who are speaking to each other like "how do they do that?" or "why is that conversation even happening?" Undecided.

    This might be different to what your saying but, my problem is I try the 'small talk' tactics, speaking to others with those basic conversation starters, but although another person may reply I feel like I have gone absolutely nowhere in my association with that person. I just don't seem to get any 'connection' with people and do not feel interested in being friends even though I try to. It feels like the first time meeting someone all over again each time I go to the same place so I get anxiety problems. 


    I honestly can't answer about there being any rules as to how to make a friendship or keep one going.  If they are distant and you can't read them, try not to assume the worse in that they don't want to be friends with you anymore. I guess maybe try to carry on communicating with them as you did before (if you feel comfortable with it!).

    I completely agree it should be about following your feelings. Sorry, I can't really answer properly, I canny understand the friendship thing either...  

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