• Replies 1 reply
  • Subscribers 30 subscribers
  • Views 411 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Wanting advice

Leah

Hi, my name is Leah and this isn’t really a vent—I guess I’m just looking for advice, because I don’t know how to deal with everything I’m feeling right now.

About three years ago, my parents found out I’m autistic and have ADHD. They try, but they don’t really understand what that means or how to help me, especially when I’m overwhelmed or having a meltdown. It’s hard for them, but it’s also hard for me, because I often feel like I’m going through it alone.

Around the same time, my parents separated. They said it was mutual—that they didn’t love each other anymore—but it was really hard for me to accept. I hate change, and everything suddenly felt different. I had quite a few meltdowns, mostly because I missed my dad and wanted things to go back to the way they were. Over time, I adjusted a little, but it’s something I’ve carried with me.

Recently, my dad told me he’s getting married. He’s been seeing someone for a while, and he invited me to lunch to tell me the news. I didn’t know how to react in the moment, but ever since then, it’s been weighing on me. I’ve been bottling up a lot of emotions—I don’t even know exactly how I feel. I’m not sure if I’m sad, confused, scared of more change, or maybe all of those things at once.

I guess I just needed to let it out somewhere. Thank you for reading and for listening—it means more than I can explain.

  • Leah said:
    it was really hard for me to accept. I hate change, and everything suddenly felt different.
    Leah said:
    I’ve been bottling up a lot of emotions—I don’t even know exactly how I feel.

    Since you are looking for advice I can recommend one thing that worked very well for me and I know a lot of others with similar experiences / results.

    I would recommend working with a psychotherapist who has experience of working with autists and ADHD patients. They are trained to help us through these experiences / problems and give you the tools to process things, get in touch with your feelings so you can better understand and manage them and finally give you the tools to be better able to cope with whatever life throws at you.

    Your experience of your parents not really understanding your situation are quite common ones and it will be incredibly difficult to make them want to change, especially when you think that there is a high probability that one of them at least is also on the spectrum (I think there is an 85% probability that you inherited the genes responsible from one or other parent).

    I would ask your parents to contribute to the cost of this if they are able (it works out about £50 for an hours session and you will probably need more than half a dozen sessions) but ultimately you need to want to be helped to get the best out of it.

    Change is a routine part of life so learning to cope with this is a key life skill so this alone makes it worth working with a therapist in my opinion.

    Good luck with whatever you choose to do.