Social interaction

At the age of 3 I was a giggly and social child. I did play alongside other kids but it became more obvious as I got older that I was not playing in a truly reciprocal fashion. My problems socialising were first picked up on when I was 5, but the teacher told my mum that SHE needed to socialise more so that I would meet more children!!. Appalling really. I was only diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 21.

So yes, it is possible to be social and to have an autism condition, but it is the quality of the socialising that is impaired.

Hi,

My son was diagnosed with ASD at the age of 8.  Looking back there were tell tale signs when he was younger but not many.  He can make eye contact, but is reluctant to as it makes him squirmy.  He is also able on a certain level to socialise in the playgound, but has alwys liked games his own way.

i think it became telling with my son, when he reached 6-7 and his friends were overtaking him socially.  It isn't a death knell to get a diagnosis, and the earlier a diagnosis is made, the earlier you can get support and help put into place.  Ask if there is a parent support worker in your area, as this will help you.

I have a wonderful quirky young man, who does have problems, and at the moment is stuck at the level of a four year old socially, but who is getting there with help nd love

Hi there

My daughter was diagnosed recently at 13.  When she was younger, she did play alongside other children however as time has moved on, they outgrew her and she was unable to play their more developed imaginery games.  

She's also ok at eye contact.  Sometimes she puts her head down and won't look at people but generally she is great with adults and conversation until she loses concentration or misunderstands something that has been said.

I recently met another girl the same age as my daughter who had also just had a diagnosis.  When I first met her, I didn't know she'd been diagnosed but straight away, it seemed obvious.  She made no eye contact and was almost non-verbal.  Very very different to my daughter however she doesn't have the sensory issues my daughter has.  

I also know another girl who had her diagnosis when she was younger (about 8) who again is very different to my daughter and the other girl.  

I think you need to go with your instincts and read as much as possible that provides you with evidence when you go for the assessment.

Thank you for your informative response ... I really appreciate the feedback. Can I just clarify that what you are saying is that he could still be diagnosed with asd even though he has a level of socialisation ? 

Thank you again 

Hi Elliot's mummy,

At three it is a bit hard to comment. I can give you a longer term perspective.

It is not that eye contact is somehow impossible or that socialisation cannot occur.

Eye contact may not elicit the same information most kids would get (and remember his eye contact has to convey information as well as receive it). If it doesn't work right no amount of achieved eye contact will make much odds. Also the confusing information from eye contact can be distracting or even upsetting. Even so some people sustain the appearance of eye contact by not looking at other people's eyes, but other parts of their faces, often the mouth. It would be very difficult to be certain that it was true eye contact, and more can be gained by focussing on listening.

The medical fraternity put a lot of emphasis on gaze aversion, actual avoidance of eye contact. In part it is easier to point one's ears at someone speaking than one's eyes, as the spoken word becomes the main source of information.

Gloomy perhaps, but it is more about information processing ability than any perceived physical incapacity.

Socialisation involves codes and inferences that a kid with ASD wont understand. So it is more a matter of not being successful at this, than not trying at all. But at 3 it would be hard to say socialisation was really happening.

There's some hope in this. Too much emphasis is placed on non-verbal. The spoken word ought to be enough.