very angry

It sounds like you were in a tough situation, and it’s frustrating that your experience wasn’t understood in the right context.

thank you everyone who has replied. 

I am happy to confess that since learning that I am probably well up the ASD scale it has given me a way to think about how I behave differently to "the other lot". I accept I am challenging to many and .i make people feel uncomfortable. I am not very good at sensing what is a joke or a serious comment in conversation. And .i have a tendency to excess emotion when confronted.All of which is from my side

But what I am also mindful of is that organisations have to comply with legislation. They should have policies and procedures in place to ensure they are not in breach of any relevant regulations. To Witt, all new buildings for public use have to be wheelchair accessible and there are whole books on standards. Yet at no point was there any attempt by either organisation that has harmed me to instigate any form of equalities policy. It is the choice to not have any policy that is at fault.

I can sympathise with this, although my situation was with an ex friend of mine. They had aspergers and were critisisng every little mistake I made, and always pushing self improvement on me. In the end I snapped and called them a failure and worthless, told them their girlfriend was going to leave them and called them useless. I regret doingb as I was very close to this person, but enough was enough. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont regret what I did. I even asked them to stop pushing self improvement on me, but they refused. This person was masking and trying to fit in, very insecure about themselves and pushed that insecurity on me. The bottom line is that some people just wont listen.

Reading through the main website, it does say that a lack of a formal diagnosis is no excuse for discriminating against someone. I accept my behaviour can be, no really is, challenging to the other lot. But the other lot have a duty in law. The salient issue is that neither the club or the neighbourhood plan committee made any attempt to even consider the possibility they are dealing with somebody who does not fit the norm. all matters of this sort rely on due process that is fully documented.

I get you. I have been forcibly redeployment from a 30 odd year career due to my ASD diagnosis. I am waiting to hear from the unions lawyers.

To be helpful here:

1. Do the committee know / have you disclosed? Otherwise if they don't know or suspect then they can't be liable for discrimination.

2. These matters do not come under the employment section of the EQA but under service providers.

I haven't done my research on number 2 as mine is employment related

In the scenarios you've portrayed it is for you to prove such discrimination existed.  

They (may) argue that you somehow contravened their rules and therefore they did not discriminate at all.  

If you want to take the matter further, someone can adjudicate.  

That is why the the Law exists. To force those who refuse to change to change. 

It is worthless without being used.

I'm not saying any discrimination is right, but you cannot educate those who do not wish to learn. 

Accepting what you say I ask, if I was homosexual and being ostracised for being homosexual in a religious hetro setting, would that be acceptable? 

I can try to explain something to you here.  It may help, but only if you listen.  I have a feeling you may not, because you feel such a strong sense of injustice.

Nobody is saying it is wrong to feel injustice, but that's another matter. 


A very small percentage of the population are Autistic.  An even smaller percentage are diagnosed, or aware they are.   

The vast majority that are not Autistic -  the Neuro-Typicals (NTs)  have little or no understanding of how it feels to be Autistic - and even if they do - they feel it is the duty of the Autistic person to assimilate with the rest.   Mask, if you will.  Hide their Autistic tendencies for the benefit of the sensibilities of the rest.

Clearly you don't do masking.  No offence.  I've done years of it, and I'm done with it. 

But those you encountered on your 'Community Project Steering Committee' and local sports club are likely to have been NT's, and with zero experience of dealing with an Autistic mindset.  

To simplify - and I wasn't there obviously - you rubbed them up the wrong way.  You are not on their wavelength.  

Therefore something had to give and you left. 

Unfortunately it is very hard to prove discrimination in organisations like these - especially if they've technically followed procedures, and have a whole committee saying one thing - and you saying another.  These people club together and defend their behaviours, effectively leaving outsiders in the cold - no matter what their minority.

We are forbidden from giving legal advice on this forum, but you could always speak with the Citizens Advice about these issues - or even a solicitor should you feel strongly enough - but my real advice is to seek out the company of like-minded individuals whom you don't need to continually butt heads with.

I hope this helps.