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Struggling to come to terms with sons diagnoses

alsoonlytesting

My son was diagnosed with ASD nearly a month ago and I am still struggling to come to term with it. When I talk to people who arent close to me I end up in tears, I have had to tell my work and the school! My close family and friends are being really supportive but I feel angry and frustrated and guilty for feeling this way. Im not sure where to go from here. I struggle to talk to my husband as I dont want to upset him as I know that he like me is still coming to terms with the diagnose as well. Has anyone else felt this way?

  • Hi - there are lots of posts on here about the reactions parents can have to a diagnosis, so have a look around if you haven't already.  I may be wrong, sorry if I am, but it sounds as tho you're bottling up your feelings.  That, as I'm sure you know, can make you feel worse.  You need to talk together as a couple.  The more you + your husband learn about autism, the more empowered you'll become.  That way you can be of greater help to your son.  He is the same child he always was.  You shd also apply for a statement of educational needs, if you haven't already, so he can get the support he needs at school.  Be a bit easy on yourself.  I'm sure from your post that there's a lot of conflicting emotions that are difficult to deal with.  You can always post here + posters will always try to be helpful.

  • There are a lot of parents groups around, but some parts of the country are less well provided with them than others. Some are run as local branches of NAS. Others are independent.

    You can find out using the little pink maps of Britain on the Home and Community pages of the NAS website whether there is something in your area - just sometimes the search function is a little unwieldy and commes up with London services first, so you have to scroll down to find your own area, or try a different search question.

    Parents Groups/NAS local groups tend to be good at providing local resource lists, seminars and courses to help parents, and access to references - books and articles. They also can provide advocacy and advice.

    Hopefully there is one where you are where you can learn from other parents and discuss concerns over a cup of coffee. And then there's just about everything covered on this forum, at one time or other, if you search back to earlier posts.

  • Maybe read the following books by William Stillman to gain a different perspective:

    • Autism & The God Connection
    • The Soul of Autism
    • The Autism Prophecies

  • Hi alsoonlytesting, my son was also diagnosed recently. He's high functioning ASD, and I was half expecting the diagnosis, but a part of me was still shocked. The day I was told I felt almost elated, I think because it hadn't sunk in, and I was just happy to have a diagnosis, because now I can get him more help at school. The next day however, I felt physically ill. I spent the entire day on my own crying. Every little thing set me off. I think maybe it was shock, and just my way of coping. I felt terrible, but couldn't feel I could talk to anyone. I feel OK now, but it's been over a month, and I know that my son is my son, and even without diagnosis, he would be the same person. At least now I know he will get help and more understanding. Hang in there, you're human, and you need to come to terms with it. I'm pretty new to it myself, so not sure if there's any support groups avaliable?